By Francis Ewherido
I refused to tell Mba about the birth of Oghenemega and instead requested for the envelope I gave him to keep for me. He thought it contained some important documents and had diligently hidden it far away.

By the time he retrieved it, another mutual friend, Christian Ogbodo, was around and I told Ogbodo to open the envelope and read.

By the time Ogbodo was midway through the note, his hands were shaking. After he finished reading the note, both of them congratulated me on the birth of Oghenemega, but Mba, typically, will not give up. He told me that I only allowed him to know the content of the envelope (which he thought were receipts for machines I bought) because my “gamble” paid off. I went home and told my wife and we agreed to try and win him over on this issue with our third son.

Less than a year later, during ovulation, my third son was conceived. On May 15, on our wedding anniversary, about nine months later, my wife gave birth to Oghenemine.

I went to Mba and asked him if he needed any further proof. Mba finally became a believer in the natural pre-selection. [I ran into Mba after losing contact for over six years on March 30, this year. Luckily my two younger sons were with me and I reminded him that they are the ones I used to convince him about natural pre-selection. We laughed over it].

Three years later we were blessed with another daughter. Her conception followed the pattern of my first daughter. That was a gift my wife reluctantly gave me because she knew I yearned for another daughter, but did not want to put pressure on her because the last pregnancy was difficult.

Moreover, our pre-nuptial agreement is four children. In this case, I did not participate in the planning; only the execution, albeit unknowingly.

In my inner recesses, I remembered, three weeks earlier, her feeble resistance and admonition that I wanted a second daughter by hook or crook, but you know how it is sometimes when a man crosses the Rubicon. I had mixed feelings about the pregnancy because of the trauma she might go through again. My only consolation was a second daughter.

My last daughter is my “take away,” my St. Paul: not among the original 12 apostles, nevertheless a very useful addition to the fold. The other children call me “daddy;” she is the only one who calls me “my daddy” and I just love the appropriation, or is it privatisation or personalisation?

In conclusion, I want us to note the following: One, my story is not meant to prove the importance of one gender over another. As I did when the copy of the note I gave to Gabriel Uche was read during a Church harvest dinner for 500 friends and parishioners in 2004, I just want to confirm and share the good news that God has indeed given us powers to naturally pre-select the sexes of our children, if we so wish. Consequently, the sex of children does not need to cause tension in, or breakup of, marriages as we currently see.

It is all within your power and if it matters to you, exercise that power. If it does not, just go ahead and have your children; the result can only be two ways: boy or girl. On the choice of boys to convince my friend, it was in tandem with the prenuptial understanding of three boys I reached with my wife. In addition, it is generally believed (I do not share this belief) that it is more difficult to have boys than girls.

Two, you need discipline if you want to naturally pre-select. For a start, pre-selection is easier when the couple practice natural family planning as against the use of artificial contraceptives, because artificial contraceptives disrupt the cycle of women, stopping ovulation or making ovulation unpredictable. In addition, the couple needs to stay off intercourse for at least five days before ovulation, if they are planning for a son.

This is to ensure that residue semen does not interfere with, and create identity crisis in, the woman’s vaginal discharge (for those who rely on vaginal discharge to track ovulation).

There are three main natural ways women know when they are ovulating: First is the thin, clear, egg white-like vaginal discharge (mucus). Second, some women feel a sharp pain or cramp on the side or lower abdomen when the egg is released and three, rise in basal body temperature. There are minor signs like tender breasts, mood swings or increased sexual urge.

Three, the woman especially needs to thoroughly master her cycle and body while the husband should cooperate with the wife to achieve desired results.

Four, this intimate information is shared with the kind permission of my wife for the sole purpose of educating young couples and encouraging discouraged and troubled married couples who desire to have either genders or one gender. Without such couples I would never have published this article because my story is actually a personal matter.

Five, if you are a doubting Thomas, like Mba, simply go and try it out. A family friend who had three daughters and was looking for boys has given birth to three boys over the last eight years using natural pre-selection. She doubted initially when my wife told her.

Come to think of it, animals, which are much lower beings, know when their females are in season. Shouldn’t we, the all-conquering human beings, created in the image and likeness of God, have this simple knowledge?

Six, naturally pre-selection is one of the rare occasions in life when you can have your cake and eat it: having a good time with your spouse and also having your desired end product. That is God’s awesomeness.