By FRANCIS EWHERHIDO

Still sounds like a fairy tale and a dream although it is about a year since that tragic Sunday afternoon of June 30, 2013, when against all prayers and hope, God called you home to His bosom. I knew from that afternoon that life would be different without you, but the reality is a different matter.

Senator Ewherido

It took months before it dawned on me that we will never have our Berlin Conferences (long phone conversations) again; that the one we had about 40 minutes before the stroke that ultimately led to your departure was the last.

For the first two months after you left, I would just remember that we have not spoken for a while, I would pick my phone to call and then it would hit me that you were no longer there to take or return my calls. Even during this year’s Australian Open finals, I wanted to call to tell you that your man Nadal was “misbehaving.”

Life without you is so much diminished. All the love you showered, the phone calls even at odd hours, your penetrative insight into issues, your ability to look in the direction ignored by others and not only make sense of it but make others to see sense in it, your ability to stand alone against all odds, your intellectual prowess, etc., are all gone with the winds.

Thank God that though the family is diminished by your absence, we are not vanquished because He that is in us is greater than he who is in the world and we have been coping and doing all things through Christ who strengthens us. Ultimately, we shall come out of this much stronger.

Life is a continuous school and I have learnt so much since you left. Not everything can be disclosed here, but I have learnt that in spite of our mangled value orientation, many Nigerians still put values ahead of valuables. All the tributes you got were about your intellectual and legislative prowess, your scholarships, empowerment schemes and selflessness; not material issues.Your life also reinforced my belief that whatever love you can show, whatever good you can do, whatever help you can render, do it now; the opportunity might be gone the next minute.

I have also learnt that the maxim that nature forbids vacuum does not apply in every situation. On the home front, the vacuum you created still looms large. Ogheneruona, your niece and my daughter, got it absolutely right in her tribute to you last year: “Uncle Pius, you are irreplaceable”, she wrote. I do not know how she was able to fathom that in her young mind. But that is only one strand of your story; you are not only irreplaceable, you are unforgettable. Unforgettable, that is what you are.

In the last 363 days there is no day, no hour, I have not remembered you, especially those earlier years we spent together growing up. Those were memorable, glorious and very happy years; life was simple and straight forward. Once in a while I cry; I cannot help it and I am not ashamed to say it.

Those around me understand and have learnt to let me be at such times. Sometimes it is like being alive but not really living; I just stumble and wobble through the motions. How can I ever forget about you? Your memories are all around me: my wife whom I met through you, the principles of living we shared which are a compass through life’s journey and much more… When you suddenly lose somebody close and personal, life and death assume new meanings. I mourn, though not like one without belief in eternal bliss, but just like anybody with deep feelings.

Sometimes I travel back in time to 1988 when I was writing my degree exams. You were the one who came to Nsukka to invite me home. From your bloodshot eyes that dull Thursday, I knew one of our parents was gone, but I did not have the courage to ask because that would have meant missing the next paper and spending extra time in Nsukka.

When I came back to school after Papa’s burial, I could scarcely leave my bed. My concerned classmates, knowing I would miss the rest of my exams the way I was going, comforted me by giving me a framed picturewith a quote:“It is better to have loved and lost than not loving at all”. When I behold the blinding pain I still feel over your death, I sometimes ponder which is better: not having/loving you at all or having, loving and losing you. The crippling pain notwithstanding, I prefer the latter: I thank God and feel immensely privileged to have had you first as a brother, then a friend and finally a pathfinder.

As Fr. Tony (our elder brother) said we were always very proud of you while you were with us. In death we are even more proud. The tributes that trailed your death were unbelievable, from Abuja to Delta, North to South, East to West and Europe to America. Many were very genuine and comforting. Your greatness emanated from within and was embellished without. You were an elephant; people who paid tributes spoke about different aspects of your life, some unknown to us. You certainly made your mark, from the bills you sponsored to the vast number of lives you touched. Yours were 50 action-packed years, loaded with landmarks and achievements.

On this your first anniversary, I fervently pray that your dream Urhoboland, Delta State and Nigeria will come to pass hopefully in my time before our children’s. Adieu, Bros P., continue to rest in the bosom of the lord. Gogorogo.