By Debbie Olujobi

Some people think strength is power under control, others say power is the ability to control and effect change. I believe power is the ability and even privilege to determine a course of action and then influence the result. The sad truth is that most people feel themselves to be at the mercy of fate, of reality. They feel powerless and emotionally, financially and spiritually impotent. It takes many years to actually become emancipated from this very depressing mindset and step into a realisation that power has been there for the taking and the using all along. I am not preaching a motivational message to give people a feel good burst of adrenaline; I am stating a fact that is becoming truer for me the older I get. Is power spiritual or political manipulation, gross abuse of authority, position and wealth or is it just a simple acceptance of responsibility, possibility and eventuality? I believe the latter to be very true.

It is possible that some people acquire what I believe to be power very early in life and I have met some very fearless and very young individuals. Please note that I use the word, fearless to describe powerful people and it is deliberate. Powerful people are very fearless and it doesn’t come from a place of false bravado or stupidity; it comes from a place of acceptance. They are normal people who refuse to let fear limit them, so they move and sometimes achieve what the rest of us think is impossible. I will admit to being hitherto fear driven and I actually considered the rigid controls I put in place to protect my emotions, my physical and financial well being power.

Living in any sort of cage is weakness and it doesn’t matter whether your cage is a one bedroom apartment in Mushin or the state house in Abuja. Living large and and living for show at other people’s expense is anything but powerful. Living accountably and equitably is powerful; it’s simple, it’s fearless. Taking responsibility for actions taken under our sphere of influence is powerful and only the foolish defer responsibility.

Growing old is not a right and youth is often terminal. I look at the young people now with a mixture of compassion, admiration and pity. Compassion because I once walked in their shoes and know their struggles. Admiration because opportunities and inventions that we didn’t dare dream are common place and available to help them. Pity because youths are never able to accept responsibility or foresee consequences of impulses. The young mistake exuberance for strength, they confuse rebellion with power and for some of them its often at death’s door that they realise their mistake. We’ve all been there, living on the edge, taking silly risks, like there is no tomorrow, feeling like we know better than our elders, dismissing their caution as timidity, we all once thought we were untouchable. Power is actually realising our limitations and taking responsibility, time will always tell that no one is untouchable; thats a truth the powerful know well.

Driving in different parts of the world can be hazardous, different rules apply in different countries, it takes all the concentration one can muster to drive on the right side of the road half the time. A couple of days ago I was driving outside the country and I was being teased by my passengers who thought I was too cautious. I laughed and my mind went back to the daredevil driver I used to be!! I silently remembered the high speeds, 360 turns, screeching competitions and gave thanks to God that youth did not consume me. My next statement started a solemn discussion. “Youth is a  disease”.. I should mention that one of my passengers used to race power bikes in his younger years and he had friends who had died way back then. My older self considers it madness to run a red light or tailgate another car but these were the stunts my younger self considered fun. For me the age of rebellion was also the age of impotence and that covers most of my youth if not all of it. Rebellion and exuberance is not power; its a lack of it; its just attention seeking and an exhibition of insecurity and possibly foolishness, that is a disease.

I am well into middle age and I can confidently say this is the age of power! Is that to say that age bequeaths power as a rite of passage? No, not at all. The age of power begins at different stages for different people but power begins with  acceptability and responsibility and that has nothing to do with age. I know some people over 50 who are more irresponsible than toddlers; their age has not brought growth and they never will taste power. Power is a by product of growth; you suddenly realise you have it when you stop struggling to get it. Power is accepting failure and re strategising to start again, power is courage under fire, power is considering others and being accountable for my part in eventualities.

Driving on a cold dark winter night; I felt the weight of responsibility but I knew God was in control. I had been entrusted with the safety of my passengers and my sister’s car and I was going to do my very best. Power is accepting that I can only do the best possible within my sphere of influence; the rest is in God’s hands. The age of power begins when one truly appreciates the greatness of the insignificant and the magnitude of the tiny! In the bigger picture, anything and everything is vital and all matter. Is anyone ever truly powerful? No, not at all, that acceptance is the power.