By Tola
Thirteen years ago, when I decided to marry my husband, the general shock was palpable. Not surprising as ours seemed to be a rather incongruous combination. He was a widower with four children; an established name who had been there done that, and had several t-shirts to show for it.

I on the other hand had just come into the business hungry for success. I already had a child and I certainly wasn’t looking for a husband. I was very single minded in my pursuit. I had come to Lagos to take the movie industry by storm cikena!

Two years into the business I was beginning to get attention, I had played lead a couple of times and had received my first nomination in the best actress category at a major award show; as the saying goes – I was well on my way.

I can therefore understand peoples shock when the announcement hit town. The fact that I looked almost ten years younger than my 33 at that time also didn’t help. Many also wondered how I would cope with four kids — the oldest being 17 and the youngest 1 and the time. Truth be told even I am not 100% certain.

Honestly, there were days when I wondered what the heck I had gotten myself into, what point I was trying to prove and to whom! Balancing a new marriage with being accepted and proving you are worthy and not trying to ‘take someone else’s place’ and at the same time maintaining your own identity is a lot.

And oh the battles! From the 17 year old who felt he was too old to have a step-mom and frankly speaking, didn’t see why anyone least of all ‘her’ should tell him what to do; to the younger ones who sensed my reluctance to take on the role of ‘disciplinarian’ so ‘people’ wouldn’t think I was too hard on them and saw that as an opportunity to continuously push the envelope and test boundaries. It took me a while to get a hang of it and believe me there were many a time that throwing in the towel crossed my mind. Even to this day, 13 years and counting there are still times I look back and wonder.

But that’s God for you no? He gives you a task and He equips you for it.Today I stand in the midst of physical and spiritual giants. I look at these towering, intelligent (and for the most part) well behaved human beings and wonder where they came from? Are these the same people that used to drive me up the wall endlessly? The same ones you had to use the threat of fire and brimstone to get them to budge and do the things they need to do? My God is faithful!

The journey has been long and often times tedious, but it has not been completely thankless; not by a long shot. That’s the thing about treasure… it’s never found lying carelessly about. It is often discovered after a long and arduous search, a lot of the times stumbled upon by mistake, while in the pursuit of something else entirely.