By Ebele Orakpo

What are these people really up to? What exactly has this man done to warrant this arrest?” asked a commuter by name, Bola, in the Oshodi-bound commercial bus along Ikorodu Road as officials of the Lagos State Traffic Management Authority, LASTMA and some policemen swooped on one of the commercial buses popularly called Danfo, forcing the driver to stop and taking the key from the ignition.

“My sister, this one beats me. We were all here. The door was shut properly, the conductor was seated unlike the normal Lagos bus conductor who will hang by the door, the driver did not stop even though he was at the bus stop so why arrest him?” asked a perplexed Ajayi, another commuter.

Ripple of laughter

“Oh, yes oo. I don’t know if these conductors made a covenant never to sit down. I’m sure if they enter a plane, they will hang too.” This caused a ripple of laughter, relaxing the already tensed atmosphere.

“Haba! How will they do that? It’s impossible,” argued Ahmed.

“Nothing is impossible with us. They hang on fast-moving trains, have you not seen them? all in a bid to escape paying the fare. So if given the chance, they will find a way of hanging on the plane,” said Ngozi.

*LASTMA Officer arresting a commercial bus driver

“The guy must have done something wrong. LASTMA and police officials are not mad people. They cannot just arrest someone for nothing,” said John.

“If na that one, they do it all the time; if not, how will they meet the target?” asked Bola who was still seething with anger. The other day, one LASTMA guy arrested a vehicle and insisted they must pay a fine after delaying them for almost two hours despite pleas that one of the occupants was going to invigilate an exam and was running late. Eventually, the fine was paid and the vehicle continued on its way but guess what happened?

The LASTMA guy who arrested the vehicle later met the invigilator in the exam hall. The lady was his invigilator! He was to write the exam but had to go to work first and ensured he made some money before exams. Of course it was tit for tat. He was not allowed to sit for the exam because he was very late. The woman recognised him despite the fact that he had changed his clothes, transforming from LASTMA official to student.”

“Oh, I like that. So who laughed last? I wish people will learn from all these that wickedness does not pay,” noted Ngozi. “But when people breach the law, they should be punished to deter others,” said John.

“True. But in this case, what did the driver do?” asked Ajayi. Shebi we were all standing there?”

“We seem to forget that today is Friday so apart from meeting target, they are also looking for money for the weekend. Mondays and Fridays are always rough for drivers, especially the commercial vehicle drivers,” said Umoh.

Retorted Onyeka: “What nonsense target, the same thing we suffered in the hands of the police. They maim and kill innocent people just because they wanted to meet target. The same in the banking sector where ladies were turning to prostitutes just to meet target and keep their jobs?”

“Abeg, abeg, na that one I no gree o. How can I use my body to make money for an organisation just to earn one miserable commission? I mean, it doesn’t make sense. I can as well do it for me and earn the money for me. After all, prostitutes no longer ply their trade in secret. They are very bold now. In fact, their association recently promised the Super Eagles one week of free sex if they win the AFCON Cup,” said Kate.

“Tufia! Make they go carry HIV?” asked Ngozi.