By Mohammed Adamu

I think it is time we put these elections behind us! They are becoming highly distractive, especially to Mr. President. Nothing can be more distractive for a sitting and ‘performing’ President than being asked to tarry awhile so that some routine electoral imperatives of the democratic process are fulfilled. Mandate renewal, they call it. But I call it what it is: ‘waste time’ – and money!

Since we all can see what burst of enthusiasm lies in Jonathan, chisel in hand impatiently waiting to hew the tilt, shouldn’t this time-wasting electoral process be set aside so he can, as early as dawn, hit the ground working? And, especially if you remember that Jonathan has been on a long, tortuous Road Map. And, of which many say that given his obsession with or commitment to that Road Map, it can be said  –matter-of-factly- that he is, himself, now virtually the Road Map!

I am talking about the ‘Energy’ Road Map. Which we all expect to lead, soon, to abundant ‘fire’ for all Nigerians. Or maybe ‘fire’ will be harsh. Will ‘heat’ do better? Or by the way, whatever! Only if there’s neither ‘fire’ nor ‘heat’ at the end of the Jonathan Road Map, you’d hope at the very least, that there should be some ‘light’. No matter how dim! Because ‘Light, does not appear only ‘at the end of tunnels’!

They appear even in less curiouser terrains. Like the endless ends of roadless maps or of maples roads.  You only need to pray that with all dark ‘tunnels’ as indeed with the Jonathan Road Map-‘tunnel’, the ‘light’ you see at the end should not be from an oncoming train. Because an oncoming train in a tunnel will not just ‘change’ your life, it will alter it!

And talking about ‘change’, even I am for ‘change’! But with candidates like Jonathan ‘change’ alone would still not solve your problem. Because what still stares you in the face is either ‘growth’ or ‘decay.’ Both of which as you know constitute ‘change’. From one state to another. And, as they say, ‘all change is not growth’, just like all ‘movement’ is not necessarily ‘forward’. Yet, no matter what happens, if what you want, like me, is ‘change’, then don’t forget to vote Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan.

And, if you look out very well on the ballot you might still find other divine names or those of good omen. Like ‘Godswill’, Godwin and, hey, maybe ‘God-dey’. They all mean the same -Goodluck. Vote them! And, if you ever doubt that he has touched your life, remember that he has created six ‘electioneering’ universities.  He has stabilised ‘fuel’, the ‘naira’ and has even set the almighty dollar on a spiral. Don’t ask downward or upward!

Simply remember that his ‘economic’ name is ‘stability’. And, by the way, have you ever felt more ‘stable’ in your whole life? ‘Stable’ as in ‘unmoving’, ‘transfixed’ and going nowhere? Remember that even that is progress. Because as they say, ‘it takes a lot of paddling these days even to remain where you are.’

You must believe, unlike Henry Beecher, that “God’s Providence” is not only “on the side of clear heads”; it can also be on the side of ‘cloudy’, ‘lucky’ ones. As indeed although “The wind and the waves are on the side of the ablest navigator”   -like Edward Gibbon wrote-, know that they can also be on the side of the lucky, un-stir-ing bum! And therein should lie your hope that the Jonathan ‘change’, by the dint more of ‘luck’ than ‘purpose’, can be one of ‘growth’ and not of the ‘decay’ that manifestly it promises.

Because, as with every Jonathan ‘thing,’ you cannot be too sure about anything. You’ll have to wait to get to the bridge to figure how to cross it. And who knows, you might just be ‘lucky’ to get to the bridge and realise, by the way, what a ‘lucky’ stunts man your President is! That he can jump a chasm, after all, in just two jumps! Meaning he can achieve both ‘change’ of state and be ‘forward movement’ in just one ‘lucky’ jump!

And, maybe you ask ‘after he has crossed the bridge where does that leave the rest of us?’ On the other side of the bridge, of course! It suffices that Jonathan has crossed. Because it is not about you, remember! Nor has it ever been about you! It has always been about Joe, the ‘good luck’ bearing, barefoot, village boy now President. You are to be inspired by his ‘luck’, not his ‘work’!

If it is any consolation that Jonathan is not necessarily a byword for the result of ‘competence’ and ‘hard work’, at least let him be a fitting advertisement for talismanic luck-dependence. The message is simple: ‘You too can be President’. Simply close your eyes and take a jump. Two jumps actually. And there you are. Like Jonathan, across the chasm. In two jumps.

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