With Florence Amagiya
Sandra is a tomboy. Everyone who knew her saw her as so. When she eventually brought home a guy, her siblings and Parents were amazed that the ‘boy’ has transformed to a girl that she ought to have been.
She was consistent with this relationship to the extent that everyone thought it was heading for the Altar. It was a shock when she came home one night with her boyfriend and announced that she was pregnant, but that she is not planning a wedding now or ever, that she will prefer to be a single parent.
Hear what our Celebrities and Nigerians have to say
No! It’s against our culture – Dele Adeniji, Barrister
The constitution which is the grundnorm of the laws of Nigeria makes copious provisions for fundamental human rights, one of which is right to self determination, which is the ability or right that a person enjoys to make own decision without interference from others. Be that as it may however, it is trite that the exercise of one’s freedom should not infringe on the enjoyment of the rights or goodwill of others. In this wise, there are societal norms and cultural identity of a people which defer from one society to the other.
Given the above, it does not go well with African culture for a woman to choose not to marry, but instead have children with certain chosen men. Such a woman would be perceived as being irresponsible as it is generally believed that with marriage comes responsibility.
It’s her life! – Yemi Blaq, Actor
Personally, l think it is an individual decision. I feel it’s a free world so you don’t impose your values or belief on another person, even if that person is your child. For example, I have a brother who came home and said he doesn’t want to be married, but he wants to have children. I supported him because it’s a free world and ‘he who wears the shoe knows where it hurts’.
There’s this peculiar case of parents sending their wards and children compulsorily to school to study certain courses, only for these kids to graduate and become something else. I think what’s best is to listen to the why of the matter.
For a good reason, yes! – Ernest Obi, Actor
If it were just a child, it’s understandable, but when it becomes two, three or four kids from different daddies, then there’s problem. It is irresponsible and foolish on her part. Why would a woman want to be a single parent in the first place? There is more to it, it is either she is heartbroken or the father of the child dumped her during the pregnancy. For me I will support a child or my sibling if she has a good reason and if she is not promiscuous. But if she wants to have children by every man, it is going to be a big no for me.
Will support if can’t do otherwise – Kali Laah, Business woman
This situation is not pleasant at all putting my family values and society in place. I will talk to the person giving him or her Godly principles. Why he or she should not do this and if I can’t convince the person I will support whatever he or she decides to do because family stands together in good or bad times.
Why not? – Kate Jekwe, Telemarketer
Marriage does not make a person happy. The sole reason for marriage is for procreation as far as l am concerned. So if l can have kids without being married, the better. Who takes care of these kids when they are little or growing up? The woman or mother of course. There’s no big deal about marriage? I don’t have to be married to be happy, so if my daughter or sibling comes to me with that kind of plan in mind, l will give her or him my blessings.
Right reasons, ok! – Ejiro Ononibe , Corps member
A spouse is supposed to be a friend and confidant, someone always present, before and after the children come and goes their individual way. A reality check will suggest that spouses are never meant to be perfect. However, this is where most couples get it wrong. I will support my child or sibling who only wants children but not marriage on the condition of the reasons given. If my child or sibling was going for an adoption, it sits well with me but if it is to be out of wedlock or a decent relationship I will oppose this arrangement.
No, she has to marry! – Alhaja Yetunde Ojukotola, Business woman
Marriage is a beautiful experience. I am in it, so l know. I am not saying it is rosy all through, but it would have been bad if l wasn’t a married woman. The respect and everything. I think everyone who wants to go on a journey like marriage should ask the Almighty for strength and direction. I did it and it worked for me.