Sex has always meant different things to different people. Whilst a hand of young ladies hold on to their virginity (as bargaining chips maybe?) a lot of men scoff at the myth of ‘deflowering ‘a woman.
“What’s the big deal in that?” Scoffed Kamar, a married medical doctor with three children, “Someone has to get there first, I had a virgin girl once but after she d tasted the forbidden fruit, she was off on a sampling spree.
By the time I met my current wife, she wasn’t a virgin and she refused to let on on how many men she’d ‘sampled’. I was quite at home with that. Better you know the package you’re getting than your girl flaunting her virginity at you.”
I recently came across the views of a 25 year old adventurer who said; “My mum first talked to me about sex when 1 was just 10 years old. ‘It’s something very special that happens between two people who love each other,’ she said. Her words stuck with me, so in my early teens, when my friend started experimenting, 1 wasn’t interested, 1 didn’t even kiss a boy until I was 16.
There was no way I was going to lose my virginity in a quick fumble. 1 wanted it to be special. “1 met David at university. He was funny and sweet and when he asked me to go to the cinema with him, I was thrilled, soon he was my boyfriend and just before my 17th birthday, I lost my virginity at his house. His parents were away and he’d cooked dinner and bought presents. ‘1 love you’ he says as we lay in each other’s arm after wards.
Even though we were young, we had an exciting and experimental sex life. As we both lived at home we’d often have a bonk in his car or in a field by my house. We just couldn’t keep our hands off each other. But six months after first having sex, we split up. We both loved each other but felt we were too young to settle down, I really missed him. However, I missed the sex more, I definitely didn’t want another relationship, yet I craved intimacy.
“A few weeks later, I was on a night out when I met a tall good-looking guy who was a few years older than me. ‘Do you want to go back to mine? He asked after just an hour of chatting, ‘sure,’ I said without hesitation. As I left the club, I sent my mates a text message telling them where 1 was going.
The sex was mind-blowing and as I left his flat the next day I realized not only did I not have his number, 1 didn’t even know his name. But I wasn’t bothered at all, 1 know
its dangerous going home with a stranger but I loved the buzz, it was the first of many one – night stands. By the time I’d left home, I’d slept with 25 men and was in no hurry to get a boyfriend; I later met a boy at the university who lived in my hall of residence. I went back to his room. We had sex and both fell asleep, I woke up in the early hours and sneaked off. There was no way I wanted to hang around for the morning-after awkwardness!
“Over the next four years, I had many more men- in fact my flat mates would be shocked if I didn’t bring a man home after a night out! To celebrate graduating, my course mates and I went on a weekend away. Within three hours of arriving, I was heading back to the apartment of one of the hunky local men. These days, I’ve calmed down a little, but only because working full-time stops me from going out as much.
“To be honest, I have no idea how many men I’ve slept with. I stopped counting at 100. But I know how important it is to be careful and I always use condoms. 1’d never had sex with a guy who refused to wear protection. Generally, men like my refreshing attitude to sex but most say I’m not girl friend material.
They couldn’t cope with a woman who’s slept with more people than them, that attitude frustrates me – it’s 2010 and things should be equal. I know having sex with a lot of people isn’t for every one, but I think they’re missing out!