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A whole New World

By Debbie Ogunjobi
A light bulb moment is an experience that can be life challenging. It simply means you get a new perspective or an understanding that puts some fundamental pieces of the puzzle that is life together. 

These moments are powerful enough to change the course of life’s journey; they can bring peace or confirm our worst fears but they bring light to a situation that is otherwise shrouded in darkness. I hold the belief that life happens in cycles and we move from stage to stage.

You can stay in the same cycle for a life time or you can move to the next once you take the wisdom from each cycle and embrace whatever lesson we are being taught by the situation.

There is also a higher school of thought that says we attract our own karma; what you send out subconsciously will manifest in the conscious in other words your worst fears will inevitably manifest in your life.

As one gets older and learns to embrace reality, make changes where possible and moves on. Some people lose the chance to have great lives because they keep banging their heads against doors that will never open or turn out to be a Pandora’s Box where they can be pried open.

These days I have coined a new term; I make peace with reality and move on; it can open the doors to a whole new world!

One of the most interesting books I have discovered lately has a title that is as funny as it is long. It is by one of my favourite authors, Richard Carlson (author of “Don’t sweat the small stuff”).

The book is titled “Don’t Get Scrooged: How to Thrive in a World Full of Obnoxious, Incompetent, Arrogant, and Downright Mean-Spirited People”. The book details common place frustrations that we all have to deal with in everyday life.

God knows there are some people who seem to be specially anointed to make other people’s lives difficult and then talks about how to remain calm and relatively unaffected by whatever event causing the upset.

The worst result of any heartbreaking experience is bitterness and being changed for the worse. Some people get hurt in a relationship and change their attitude towards an entire, sex, race, nationality.

Mean spirited, arrogant, obnoxious people come in all races, sex, and nationalities and the same goes for wonderful, competent and kind hearted people.

Carrying a Nigerian passport and being a frequent traveller is one way to find out how stereotypical assumptions can put one at the receiving end of some mean heartedness.

A whole new world is what happens when I refuse to be riled by hatred that’s unjustified and continue to be who I am without rancour or hostility.

If I had one wish it would be to relive my younger days with the maturity and insight that age has bestowed. For some reason I have become the poster child for those who are really depressed and thinking of ending their lives.

I can’t rewrite the past and deny not having tried it a long time ago but I can authoritatively say suicide is not the answer to any situation no matter how dire!

Whatever heartbreak or disappointment you feel now will pass, it always does! I am particularly saddened when I hear; the depression and suicidal thoughts are brought on by other people’s rejection or mean-spiritedness.

Why let someone else take the place of God and make them the author and finisher of our fates?

That’s crazy!! My best friend grew up in the most abusive situation as a child, she was taken from her mother, brought to a strange country, passed from relative to relative till she ended up in boarding school and she can tell you tales that will make your blood curdle but she remains one of the nicest, most generous people I know.

Hard experiences give us emotional muscles and prepare us for whatever may come.

A lot of people are facing financial ruin with the recession worldwide but before you throw in the towel let me remind you that all successful people have many failures in common, they just keep trying and so should you!

The tide always turns and for those with sensitive hearts, hurts, betrayal, rejection are a part of life; you can’t control what people will think or say about you, it’s their opinion; it doesn’t have to be yours!!

When you make peace with whom and what you are, opinions; good or bad don’t matter. If it’s a financial or political failure you are dealing with, go back to scratch and try again with a few adjustments till you get it right.

You are only a failure if you don’t try. Let the bulb in your mind come on and see things in a wonderful new light, you aren’t dead yet; see and live a whole new world!!

This is dedicated to two very special readers and I hope this piece encourages you to hold on; suicide is not an option. It offers no peace or rest. It’s a sin and hell is a lot worse than your current situation; suicide is nothing but a one way ticket to hell…


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.