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Single and searching

By Jerome

During the ‘Date Coaching Class’ that I run for my clients, I take a topic called LOCATION. What this class talks about is simply being where you can be found. A lot of people, experience has shown, seem to want to meet someone, but are not ready to step out of their insecure, introverted lifestyles; out of their fear of rejection etc.

Some say that they will be too ashamed to be tagged SINGLE AND SEARCHING whereas that’s exactly what and where they are. Our problems never get solved when we choose to live in denial; when we choose to pretend about our state of life, when we choose to believe a lie that others are in the situation, but not us.

At this point, we may go as far as believing that we don’t have that kind of problem but just want to resolve a few things first and then we will address our own singleness by ourselves!

At 35, you must be joking! When you are 35 years or older, the odds are against you. Don’t be deceived. But, if you choose to believe otherwise, no problems! No wonder you are dying every minute inside instead of living and expanding your world. Most of us have resorted to just coping with life instead of living it, and when they find those who have chosen to live life to the fullest, they criticize them and tag them as unserious and frivolous.

Yet, as beautiful as some of us look on the outside, we are actually dying inside, and everything within us is crying out:  “Please, come and get me and love me!” And, even those who have a perfect relationship with God know that the next person to have a good relationship with after God is MAN! But, who is going to find the hermit, monk or nun where they have decided to bury themselves?

Some of us lie with our high profile jobs, using it as an excuse for not socializing. Yet, some of such men still have time to browse pornography after working hours, when all their colleagues have left the office, wasting precious time they could have spent meeting and relating intelligently with someone real. If you confront them about it, they tell you that he hasn’t got such time in his hands. And, that he hasn’t got problems with porn either.

He believes he can stop whenever he wants to. POOR MAN! He doesn’t know the level of damage porn has done to his life. How can he even relate with a woman now when he is not able to see her as a person but as a pleasure unit, a sex object, a thing to be used? You don’t relate with things, you use them, and most of the time, you don’t find what you use interesting after a while; which is why you end up always wanting to jump to the latest and newest edition without apology to the old that has served you so well for some time.
Such a man playing with pornography can only look at the woman as a body and not a person. No thanks to PORNOGRAPHY.

What about the female bank manager that will not allow workers in her unit time to play and relax but keeps them working and working and working until they drop dead! Most of the people in her unit, keep falling ill but who cares? As far as she is concerned, there is plenty of work to do and there is no time to rest.

But, is that really the case or that’s just her own way of coping with her singleness. Very soon, in her desperation to have a MAN in her life, she will start dating one project that looks like a man though a psychiatric hospital will have to think twice before admitting him. But, do you blame the project for finding his way into her life? No! Blame madam who has refused to mingle and will never want anyone to know she is single and searching.

If only she knows how many reasonable men out there have been ‘scoping’ her, checking her out and just want to know that she is available before they start to chase her. If only she knows that she is still ‘chase able’ .


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