THE problem most people have is deciding at what point it is okay to have sex with a Newfoundland. It doesnâ€™t matter whether youâ€™re single or a married adventurer wanting fast and furious sex, the problem is still the same! I recently ran into this dishy guy at a party -very macho and a good mover, he looked absolutely delicious.
A few years younger (so what?), he made a play for me, staring all night at my boobs. If another man had been so brazen, 1 would have given him a what for! But this one was a rogue – he could get away with anything. â€œWant dinner tomorrow?” he offered later in the evening. Weâ€™d become sort of connected!
Before I could even consider it, he added. â€œIâ€™m a good cook, youâ€™ll enjoy my specialty (he didnâ€™t say what it was!) The wifeâ€™s on holiday with the kids. You could bring a nightie if you like.â€ He neednâ€™t spell out the type of a dinner date he was offering, and no, I didnâ€™t slap his face. And Iâ€™mÂ going to tell you whether or not I took him up on his offer!
As my happily divorced Casanova friend Kay, aptly puts it: â€œIâ€™ve always believed that, if you have chemistry and passion, you should go to bed there and then. I mean, why wait? What are you waiting for? To ask her fatherâ€™s permission to shag his daughter? Or, as a woman, are you waiting to be sure he is not a psychopathic woman-beater?
Women particularly believe you shouldnâ€™t, sleep with a man on the first day because he wonâ€™t have respect for you. What a load of rubbish! If you and a man fancy the pants of each other and you still decide not to have sex because of some mysterious idea of â€˜respect,â€™ then heâ€™ll think youâ€™re too uptight to be bothered with anyway! This kind of behaviour may be justified on the first date.
But on the second date, itâ€™s just plain frustrating! Believe me, there arenâ€™t that many men who will hang about to see if itâ€™ s worth investing the inevitable thousands of naira on the third date simply to have to wait for madamâ€™s favour yet again!â€
As far as Ini, my adventurous friend is concerned, the men who are attached shouldnâ€™t necessarily be off the market! â€œAttached men are always right for the picking – so are attached women, come to think of it,â€ she gloated. â€œOnly you should be prepared for the shock that you arenâ€™t the only one with that belief. Take Ben for instance (Ini has a string of them, so I wonâ€™t bore you with Benâ€™s details!)
He was married and proud of it, but he didnâ€™t want that to cramp his style. We actually met at a friendâ€™s housewarming party. There was a major attraction between us that neither one of us wanted to ignore. His wife was away marking some exam papers so I took him home – his wife went with the only family car. It was worth the effort, believe me.
When we eventually got down to it, he was amazing and very sensual.
â€˜Two weeks into the relationship, his wife was marking exam papers once again when she phoned she was leaving early – when Iâ€™d already settled in! I had to dash out very late in the night. Then one night, I walked into a restaurant with some friends and he was out on a date with a woman who wasnâ€™t his wife.
I deliberately walked past him so he could see me, but the cad just slunk down in his seat and acted like he didnâ€™t recognize me. I refused to have anything to do with him after that!â€ One-nigh-stands or not, there are some nerds (oops! Gentlemen) who want more of a one-on-one-relationship than flings. I was at Dejiâ€™s and in a relaxed mood with a couple of his friends when I carefully introduced the topic – The men were realty keen and wanted to know what fâ€ meant.
I told them that since we were all grown-ups, we should readily admit that most of us must have met someone and had sex with them right away, regardless of whether it was a one-night -stand or the start of a meaningful relationship, Iâ€™d I expected the two ladies present to squirm, but they were more vocal than the men, life is too short to be pretentious,â€ one of them said matter of-factly. â€œIf a man wants it fast and furious, it stands to reason heâ€™s going to do it with a woman, so why the pretext?
â€œIf I fancy a man, I go for him. Theyâ€™re just like having a barbecue dinner – some barbecues come out well and others are burnt all over. You just toss the burnt ones into the rubbish bin and enjoy the well-turned-out ones!â€ It was her date who squirmed and told us snootily that: â€œThe way I was raised, sex was very intimate and very honest with my parents.
I look for that same honesty and rapport with a woman. I take relationships very seriously.â€ His date reminded him that if his parents’ relationship was so passionate, how come his dad have a second family? I quickly steered the conversation back to basics – that one-night stands could be as satisfying as having a snack instead of a main meal.
â€œHave you had one lately?â€ Deji wanted to know. My experience with the cad at the party must have made me a bit bolder. Had he? I tossed the ball back into his court. He wagged his finger at me and the topic was dropped.
Unfortunately, he didnâ€™t let the topic drop after his guests left. Afterwards, he. was more passionate than heâ€™d been for months!
Thereâ€™s nothing tike a bit of jealousy to spur a man on! The next evening when Joel called, it was panic station for me. I didnâ€™t particularly fancy a nooky two nights in a row but was relieved that was the furtherest thing from his mind! He sheepishly, admitted to having a one-night stand a few -months ago only for the lady involved to track him down to his office.
â€œShe claimed Iâ€™d gotten her pregnant,â€ Joel wailed. â€œWould you imagine any woman pulling that kind of stunt in this day and age? I told her what she could do with the pregnancy but she threatened to tell my wife if I didnâ€™t give her money to get rid of the pregnancy.
I paid her off in the end. It would have been understandable if she were a hustler, but this is a well-trained professional with a good job. She knew I was married when she agreed to have a romp. So why the blackmail? Itâ€™s amazing how low some women would stoop to make ends meet.”