By Debbie Ogunjobi
ONCE in a while we all come to a place where we must find our place in the world, a time where we are fully identified with a core set of beliefs that is a noose around our necks; beliefs based on judgements!

Some inherited, others assumed or derived!! It’s often a thoroughly painful process to admit that where we are presently is not where we should be.

Try as hard as most of us do, that still quiet voice within refuses to be ignored, it tells us we yearn for more because we deserve more, are capable of more, can and should give more.

A lot of depressed rich people can confirm that the acquisition of more stuff is not necessarily nirvana, inner disquiet and the unexplained hunger that drives most people into spiritual arenas is a human experience that is common to all.

I asked a very rich individual I met years ago when he thought he would have acquired enough and he looked at me and said he would tell me once it happened; that was in the early 90s and I am still waiting for that answer.

I have asked quite a few people the same question and no one can quite tell me, it seems enough is never enough and we are all determined to acquire more.

The best way I can describe it is like a man frantically fetching buckets of water into a basket; it’s an exercise in futility that will continue till the man dies; the basket certainly will not be full!

One of my favourite people told me an experience of hers on a plane years ago and I remind myself of it regularly when I feel overwhelmed.

She had been the only calm passenger on a plane that crash landed, luckily no one was hurt but quite a few were petrified and when asked why she remained unruffled she had simply said she was at peace with her human experience; she had done her best and given all she could.

She had given up a  lucrative career to  set up an orphanage and dedicated her life to looking after children that had been orphaned and abandoned. She lived moment to moment and totally trusted God, so if He had thought she was done on that particular day, then it was okay.

I had a similar experience lately but my calmness was more as a result of tiredness and if truth be told indifference; I can’t say I have done my best to serve God and humanity but all in all I also trust God for mercy in whatever outcome shows up in any given situation.

I am often referred to as a passive activist often and while I don’t identify with that or any other title, I do find that people often have great expectations that are a bit on the heavy side.

The human experience should be how we are able to connect with the spirit within us to nourish our souls and enjoy our bodies. Life doesn’t have an opposite, birth is the opposite of death, but life itself is eternal.

It is obvious in many ways, once the breathe has left the human body, titles become obsolete; you start hearing referrals’ like the body of that person or the “late” so and so. It is sad that most people come to the realisation that they are more than a body just when they are about to expire.

Our eyes have become blinded by a need to judge and identify. We judge some as beautiful and some ugly without looking deep enough to catch a glimpse of the soul and connect with the spirit that connects us. Judgement and identification are the greatest failings of humanity.

We judge, identify and separate, the result is that we are cut off one from the other till loneliness and that yearning for more drive us towards reckless ambition or addiction.
Most of us have had the privilege of seeing God, we see him everyday when we look in the mirror, or when we look at each other.

We fail to appreciate or comprehend the wonder of His face because we are quick to judge, to identify and decide who is worthy of affection. We are miserly with love till we believe someone worthy of our affection or reciprocating our feelings.

My point of view has always been that if the only reason you give me is because you expect something back then don’t give at all. If the only reason we love is to be loved, why love at all; surely loving is its own reward?

Animals have it a lot easier than most humans; animals are without judgement and have the freedom of expression of whatever emotion is true to them. A dog or a baby doesn’t give a damn what the owner is wearing, it simply connects with affection, it gives without thought or bias.

A dog doesn’t have sleepless nights, it doesn’t get depressed, if its looking down, then its because its sick, once its treated it jerks back to life. That’s why Jesus said the kingdom of heaven belongs to little children; they haven’t learnt the evil art of judgement and identification.

Maturity is a term most  people confuse with  cynicism. To my understanding maturity is the ability to view life with wisdom and exercise a little restraint in our actions.

Maturity is not license to judge and dismiss, it is not to look down on others and their situations with disdain or the propensity to dispense unsolicited foolishness in the guise of counsel.

Not all knowledge is wisdom, quite a lot of people dish out advice based on their experience forgetting that life is not a one size fits all garment; the best you can do for anyone is listen to what they have to say and encourage them to search themselves for the answers.

Trying to discourage people from a road less travelled because some people had previously failed is not maturity, records are broken everyday and miracles remain the right of everyone with enough faith to ask for the impossible!

Maturity is an approach to life that is unhurried and relaxed; maturity is trusting God that things are unfolding in the divine order that was ordained.

So to enhance your human experience try a little trust, relax in the knowledge that things are as they should be and grace will always abound, no matter the situation.


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.