By Debbie Olujobi

It can be disheartening when one’s expectations are cut off! Over the years I have tried not to want something so badly I become desperate or frustrated. I have also found that enterprise and negotiation work better when one is dispassionate and logical; passion in negotiation most times just convey desperation to others. The best bargaining tool is always a cold and even disparaging exterior; it says that one is willing to walk away from several other options.

Its even better when one truly believes that, it is the gospel truth. There is always a better deal, always a better option, only failures pin all their hopes on just one deal, one expectation. I grew up the child of a fantastic negotiator. My mom was a contractor who could make a profit out of anything. I have had 18 years experience in retail, I am my mother’s daughter; just as tough, my siblings say a lot tougher.

No one knows it all, in the school of life there is no graduate. This past year I ate humble pie in a transaction and I was livid. Retail is all about location; you can offer diamonds at a dime a dozen and not have a single customer if you are in the wrong location. I had been discontented with a prime location I had and had been eager to move. I was sought out by a familiar face and an agent who seemed to be an answer to my prayers. They showed me a building that was the right size, right place and right price; I was salivating in excitement. I struck what I believed to be a fair deal for all parties but I forgot the golden rule in my excitement. I got carried away by my passion and conceded many things that were costly and foolish; desperation. The second mistake was letting cash change hands when there were still a few consultations pending the final agreement. In my mind I had prayed about it, confirmed my agents had authority to lease, I had been given the keys and I had raised the sum needed. It should have been fine or so I expected.

Around that period I had to travel and be with a friend having chemotherapy so I couldn’t finish execution but I had a team well in place. I was really excited about this new possibility and didn’t think it could fall through but that is exactly what happened. Within the few days I was out of the country, the mother of all family feuds broke out between the siblings who had inherited the said building and I was out of money and location. Weeks became months and I eventually pulled out of the lease. The desperation wore off, the excitement faded at the thought of becoming a pawn between Cains and Abels. To say I was disappointed was putting it mildly but good business is also knowing when to walk away. I learnt a new level of humility and I endured some conversations that in the old days would have brought out a side of me confined to history; old man behaviour is not acceptable when one is crucified with Christ.

All prayers are answered but we aren’t always pleased when God says no; I know I was not amused. I made my disappointment known in prayers and petitioned heaven for the right location. Fast forward to a few more weeks and a real expectation, a God expectation happened. A location I had not even considered became available and the move was seamless. I paid less than I offered for the first place and was given all the time and authority to make all the structural changes I wanted. I actually started to thank God for saying no to my initial prayer and realised that my expectations had not been cut off, they had been re-routed. I didn’t have to leave my promised land for a barren one; I stayed in my old building but in a better unit, big, spacious and beautiful. I have been feeling so humbled by God’s grace toward me lately, especially when I am in that location that was the right one and only just a wall away.

So is there a moral to this story you wonder? Maybe and maybe not. Being a Christian I am persuaded that a Higher power had my back all along; after all there are a lot more advantages to my present situation. On the other hand a good case can be made for resilience; the ability to keep going after every disappointment; an enlarged vision that isn’t clouded by defeat. The Bible says the gifts of God are without repentance and add no sorrow and that is my testimony. This particular gift has given and will continue to give; that is my expectation; it’s a God expectation.

I have had many disappointments, many mistakes, missteps and even defeats in my life. They have been the tutors in a life where overcoming one challenge almost immediately leads to an even tougher challenge. Expectations have been raised, expectations have been dashed. Some were borne of ambition, others necessity, some have been borne of need, others of desperation but all were necessary in this journey we call life. The day we stop expecting improvement in life is in my view the day we die; the day we give up. This year is rounding up, just but a few weeks left and I am still so expectant, still so very hopeful and that is my moral. Grace makes expectation a thing of beauty, a gift of mercy and where ever or what ever they lead to is a lesson taught or a blessing gained.