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THE RELATIVE AND THE ABSOLUTE MARRIAGE

I wrote a book entitled; Why Christians Won’t Go to Heaven. Some Christians complained my book is too absolu-te. They said I should have written: “Why Some Christians Won’t Go to Heaven.” No, I replied. I mean no Christian will go to heaven. Christ-ianity is not a criterion for heaven. Last week, I wrote an article entitled “Christians Make Terri-ble Husbands.” Some self-righteous Christian husbands shot back saying I should have said: “Some Christians Make Terrible Husb-ands.” No! No! No! I mean “all Christian hus-bands.”

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CHRISTIANS MAKE TERRIBLE HUSBANDS

I was a loving husband until I became a “born again” Christian. Then I discovered certain things written by Paul in the bible appointing me the head of my wife. I eagerly accepted the appointment. Jesus reveals that the worst kind of evil is the one which is presumed to have a religious sanction. I might be a murderer but in my heart-of-hearts I know it is wrong to kill.

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THE BIBLE IS NOT THE WORD OF GOD (1)

Nowhere in the bible is it said or implied that the bible is the word of God. As a matter of fact, the bible is not even in the bible. Scriptures referring to the word of God never refer to the bible. For example, Moses says: “The word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, ‘Do not be afraid, Abram.’” (Genesis 15:1). It was not the bible that spoke to Abram. The word of God came to him before any scriptures were written and before the bible was compiled. Therefore, neither the scriptures nor the bible can be the word of God.

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ROCK MUSIC AND THE ROCK OF AGES

I walked into the City of David parish of the Redeem-ed Christian Church of God, Lagos, for the very first time and was surp-rised to hear the choir playing the theme song from the blockbuster movie, Mission Impossible III. Don’t get me wrong; the choir was excellent. But you start to wonder if you are not actually at a pop-concert as opposed to a church.

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CROSSING OUT THE DEVIL

Jesus came into the world as a heavenly commando sent by God to destroy the works of Satan single-handedly. The devil holds men in bondage through the singular sin of the love of life; the foundation of all sin. We steal, cheat, fight, kill and commit adultery in order to save our lives. God required Jesus to call us to repentance and tell us about his kingdom. He would then demonstrate that our fear of death is baseless by laying down his life and then rising from the dead.

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THE GOD-WHO-FORGIVES

The Lord sent me on an errand. I said: “I go, Sir,” but did not go. He asked me to go out of town to talk to an old man about Christ. I can never say “no” to the Lord, but I dragged and dragged my feet about it. I debated indefinitely what to tell him. I had known the man all my life and felt it would be presumptuous of me to talk to him. I dilly-dallied until I was shocked to hear he was seriously ill and in hospital. Then I became afraid. What if he died?

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Pastors are thieves and robbers

THE bus was going from Lagos to Benin and it was waylaid by highway robbers. They got on the bus brandishing automatic weapons. “This is a stick up,” declared the leader of the gang in a menacing tone designed for maximum effect. “Is there anybody here who has been paying his tithes? If you have been paying your tithes raise your hand.”

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Witchcraft in the Church

Emmanuel Okonjo had had enough. His email to me from Abuja said as much. “That is the last parish of that church I will join. I am now convinced the church is a cult.” What was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back for Emmanuel. The pastor came to church that Sunday morning and laid down a decree “ex cathedra.” “Anyone who speaks against our church or against our G.O. (General Overseer) is going to die.”

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God is not a Trinity

The word “Trinity” can be found nowhere in the Bible. It is completely incongruous with scriptural understanding of God. God is not three persons. There is only one God and it is the Father. Jesus says: “salvation is of the Jews.” (John 4:22). Salvation is neither of the Romans nor of the Italians. The Trinity is an unscriptural concept, smuggled into Christendom under Roman Constantine by cloak-and-dagger means.

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The blessings of Boko Haram

Jesus says we can identify his disciples by their fruits. (Matthew 7:20). He then says the fruits of a man are his words. (Luke 6:43-45). So here is a sure-fire way of determining the true disciple. Step on his toes and see what he has to say. Give him a slap and listen to what comes out of his mouth. That is the value of Boko Haram attacks for Nigerian Christians.

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God does not know everything

IT is generally assumed by Christians that God is all-knowing. We say insistently God is omniscient. Peter said to Jesus: “We understand that you know everything.” (Jn 16:30). However, there are things Jesus did not know. He did not know a fig-tree did not have figs. (Mk 11:13). He did not know the time of his return. (Mk 13:32).

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There is no salvation by predestination

I find it astonishing that anyone who knows God would subscribe to a doctrine of predestination. But this is precisely what Paul does in his ep-istles. He maintains God predestines some people to salvation and others to condemnation: “God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.” (Rom. 9:18). I beg, most sincerely, to disagree.

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