By Tony Ubani

I know a lot of men who have been ruined by women.
Their wives. Many men are living in hell because of the misfortune of marrying what they thought was the bone of their bone.

There are still many more men who have hit jackpot courtesy of their wives. Some men’s lives have been transformed by their wives. That is why this adage says; “The good or bad of an ill life is the good or bad of an ill wife”. Marriage is like picking shared meat in a public square. Some who are lucky get the good ones why others pick bones.

Before now, I had heard frightening tales about the terror of women especially in Europe and America, where women are considered the head of the family. They are sacred cows. There is nothing like shouting, beating, intimidation or even threats like “I will slap you or I’ll remove your teeth”, as common said in Nigeria. Some women in these places have taken their headship of the family too far.

Men who cannot control their temper have paid the price of either cooling off in jails or have lost everything to their wife, to start life afresh while those who could not bear it, have died in the process. In my country, we respect women and love them but the termagant ones receive backhand slaps. At least.

Things have changed after the Beijing conference where women got their anthem – What a man can do, a woman can even do better. A lady working with Hector Igbikiowubo almost injured herself because she saw a big rat. She ran for protection behind a man.

Here in SA, women enjoy such rights as in Europe and America. One of Nigeria’s ex-internationals here is barely managing to survive because his wife used number six for him. They are divorced and the wife inherited almost everything.

It makes the ladies here walk and talk anyhow. A South African babe looked me in the eyes and said that men don’t exist here.  She even bragged about many Nigerians who have learnt the hard lesson.

She informed that Nigerian men are loving and hard working day and night(yes). And that makes their women love them. But they also pretend to love and ‘die’ for those who have made it financially.

Once they seal that love with marriage certificates, they now unleash their terror on the man provoking him to strike. And once they lead you into temptation, there is no forgiving us as we forgive those who trespass against us. This same lady wanted to keep me company after a night out in a club where Nigerian jams dominated air-play.

I resisted using my backhand as I would have done in Nigeria, I just entered the cab and drove away. Some of these women are evil. But will men learn?

Remembering my Fuckanizer

I have a Vulcanizer friend who has been good to me as  I have been to him, too. When he learnt that I was going to the World Cup in South Africa, he begged me to help him out of our country (Nigeria).

I laughed it off after he had done his magic of using Eba and fufu in mending my punctured tyre, Two days after, I was back to his place and he romanced my tyre and brought out two nails from a different tyre.

This time, he dashed over to a restaurant opposite to scavenge for eba and fufu, from the refuse bin. He came back complaining that Mama Ngozi told him to be paying for eba and fufu he collects from the refuse. “Can you imagine woman’s inhumanity to man?”.

This is why I said you should help me to South Africa. I hear it is good place. At least, I can do my work and make dollars”, he said. Since I came here, I have not seen used tyres which is a sign of where Vulcanizers stay in Nigeria. Because of the smooth road, tyres hardly get worn out or pick nails.

Even when tyres need air, drivers drive into any filling station and gauge the tyres free. Even without buying fuel. And once you buy fuel, your windscreens are washed and the tyres checked.

All for free. We have thousand and one filling stations in Nigeria. I don’t know of any that can boast of these free services. And how can my Fuker  friend survive in South Africa? Conductors, too, have no place here. Passengers collect fares line by line and give to the driver. No cheating.

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