By Princess Olufemi – Kayode

If you are following, we started this series last week from the book by Jane Gilgun and Alankaar Sharma titled Child Sexual Abuse: Child survivors, Mothers and Perpetrators tell their stories – and it is focusing on the perspective of the child survivors, mothers and the perpetrators. Read on:

Here are  words of a father who could describe what he did in some detail and stated how he felt.
Ther is no  concern for his daughter’s well-being. He lived with his wife, three children, and a cat.
“One night I was making my regular rounds through the house, making sure the kids were in bed, the doors were locked; the cat was in and stuff.

I had gone down to my daughter’s room. It was very dark. I leaned over to give her a kiss goodnight. When I went to brace myself on her bed, I actually touched her breast when I kissed her on her cheek.

It was just like a shot of electricity through my body. I went upstairs and went to bed and tried to forget about it, but it was just racing in my head. I didn’t go back down in her room for several days after that. Eventually, I did go back down there and the same thing. Kiss her on the cheek, but this time when I touched her breast it was intentional.

Then progressively it got to the point where I went down there, and I would touch her breasts over and under her pajamas while she slept, or I believed she slept. I would touch her with one hand, and I would masturbate with the other.

Children Understand Sexual Behaviours Differently
Children do not have the experience, the emotional and cognitive development, and the brain development to do so.
Sexual acts are a mystery to children. A girl whose grandfather abused her for six years, starting when she was three, said, “Grandpa used to do it on the boat. He had sort of a grin on his face. White stuff came out.”
Another girl, aged 10, said her teenage babysitter sort of did push-ups on her.

A six year-old boy who was abused for a year and a half by a 14-year-old neighbour told his mother that his body was made so the older boy’s penis could fit inside him.

These examples show that children do not understand sexuality and sexual abuse. They also do not understand that perpetrators take advantage of them for their own sexual gratification. Children become confused by sexual acts, whether done by people they love and trust, by acquaintances, or by strangers.
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