IT is apparent that lack of training and apathy in parenting is the root of most problems in the country ranging from juvenile delinquency to corruption, violence and all forms of abuses. At a recent national parenting conference, tagged, “Critical Rescue”, it was argued that what parents and stakeholders put into children, is what they will get in return and as such there was an urgent need to rescue the recent crop of youths from destruction., writes Etop Ekanem:

•Cross section of participants at the event “Need for critical rescue for Nigerian child”

THERE is lack of effective, purposeful and focused parenting especially in these present day when parenting comes with a huge task. In a nutshell, raising children has eluded many a parents and this poses a great danger for many parents and the society at large with far reaching implication for the nation’s future.

It is, therefore, in consideration of this fact that stakeholders recently came together at the Breach Repairers’ National Parenting Conference, tagged: “Critical Rescue,” to deliberate on the need for a critical rescue in parenting the Nigerian child and the need for an overhaul in the upbringing of Nigerian children in every aspect and not just in education.

The conference, which had in attendance, wife of the Vice President, Mrs. Dolapo Osinbajo; wife of the Lagos State governor, Mrs. Bolanle Ambode; First Lady of Ogun State, Mrs. Olufunso Amosun, as well as First Lady of Akwa Ibom State, Mrs. Martha Udom.

Speakers at the event included Mrs. Obiageli Ezekwesili, Mrs. Nkem Okoro, Victor Diali, Rev. Christie Bature Ogbeifun, and Praise Fowowe, among others.

Coordinator, The Wife, Mrs. Nkem Okoro, said in her presentation that the solution to good parenting lies in swift critical rescue through regular effective parenting training and advocacy programmes to empower all stakeholders such as the recently held national conference on parenting hosted by the Breach Repairers, adding that all hands must be on deck for a critical rescue.

Highlighting the roles of stakeholders in effective parenting, Okoro noted: “It is often expedient, while training on parenting, to incorporate all stakeholders which include parents, teachers, the society and the government.” She said that the ultimate aim for this is to empower them for effective grooming of children – the next generation.

She described parental absenteeism as a huge drawback to effective parenting, noting that parents these day have very tight and busy work schedules hindering them from creating time for proper nurture, care and direction to their children. “They are caught up in the rat race to source funds for the family upkeep. Overloads of tasks especially on the mothers who are the nation builders and nerves centres in families, compounds the problem,” Okoro noted.

She stressed further that parenting is a continuous task that demands regular input from all stakeholders who often leave it to some others, especially parents, adding that it has been proven that parents cannot do it all.

Well rounded next generation

“All hands must be on deck at every point in time as we have limited time to achieve our goal”, she said, adding that the training will challenge parents and other stakeholders to invest their time effectively in the lives of children as it was so important that we raise a well rounded next generation.

This year’s conference appropriately tagged, ‘Critical Rescue,’ stakeholders believe is a step in right direction to rescue the nation’s future leaders and the society at large. Reminiscing on how it all started Founder of Breach Repairers, Pastor Chuks Nduka, said this whole concept started many years ago when as a youth corps member, he did his primary assignment with the Scripture Union in Ogun State.

He said: “I found out that there were lots of delinquency youths; there was failure in WAEC and JAMB. I was not a teacher but was working for Scripture Union but of course, I worked with young people and I wanted to find out what was the cause of the mass failure in these exams. I realised that there were so many distractions. Issues like teenage pregnancy was happening unknown to parents and the children were so much involved in sexuality issues covered up and yet they were coming to church.

They were involved in worship, carried Bible in the daytime but in the night time other things were happening. And so I had to find a balance between Christianity and educating them.

“For me, it was just a way of trying to change the order that I met and to give young people a proper orientation and also to find out what was going on in the hearts of these young ones. Strange things were happening which adults were not aware while some were into cultism, but because I had come down to their level, they were able to confide in me and so I built on that and after service when I came to Lagos, I also realised that it was same story every where – youth issues and the re-orientation had to begin for me to bring young people together and find means to reach out to them and that was how we started”, Nduka recalled vividly.”

Speaking on the topic, “Total Child”, First Lady of Ogun State, Mrs. Olufunso Amosun said that considering the myriads of challenges presently confronting our society in recent times, ranging from unpleasant incidences of  insurgency, suicide bombings,  kidnappings and other societal vices, it is important to look inwards and try and see where things went wrong.

Stressing that these ugly trends have naturally become a major source of concern for parents and other stakeholders, Amosun noted that the making of a total child involves various agents of socialisation, ranging from the family, the  school, the society, peers, religion  and media.

Behavioural development

“The family serves as the initial point of enlightenment for any child, the bedrock of their cognitive and behavioural development, and a determining factor of the child’s values and morals. The family forms the foundation for all other social agents to build upon and it is most essential that this foundation is established properly right from the start”, she noted.

“Emphasis must be laid on quality time from the limited time available, chores can be done together, so you can bond with them whilst imparting knowledge and catching up on your child’s activities of the day.   Listen to them, don’t do all the talking, Set proper earmarked routines and rosters so your child is gainfully engaged when they get back from school and not just left to wonder about aimlessly till you get back at night, set specific rules and boundaries to guide them, not to impose on them,” she urged.