Dear Bunmi,

About three years ago, I used most of my savings to pay for my daughter’s marriage. She’s the only girl though we have two other male children. Shortly after she got married, I lost a lot of money through the crash of the stock market. I’m trying to find my feet financially, though it’s not been easy.

My wife has a bit of an income and that helps.You can then imagine how I felt when my daughter announced recently that the marriage was over.

I couldn’t believe it. Neither could my wife. Understandably, she should leave a marriage she’s unhappy in, but I’m really angry that I’m left almost destitute, thanks to a wedding that means nothing now.

She doesn’t know how much I spent on the wedding and how much money I have lost, but sometimes I feel like telling her, so she’s aware. Thank goodness she has a son to show for the charade, but why let us spend that much money?
Taiye, by e-mail.

Dear Taiye,

Maybe you shouldn’t have decided to spare no expense at your daughter’s wedding if it was going to cost you such despair, and so much finance. It was down to you and not your daughter’s fault.

Her happiness had to come first. She needs all the support she can get especially from her parents. Carry on struggling with your finances whilst you give her all the support she needs. She’s probably going through hell and laying the guilt of an expensive wedding on her will make it worse. It was your choice to splash out! Money is important, of course, but people should mean more.