By Bunmi Sofola

It’s no longer news that the average woman could be as dangerous a predator as her male counterpart.  Men have always used dirty tricks to get women into bed against their will.  So when a woman, wanting a bit-on-the-side from a man she fancies, uses all her wiles to get him, why can’t he take it in his stride and ‘chop and wipe mouth’ without complaining the ploy was Jezebel’s? 

Early last year, Julius, a junior colleague, from a former office, actually went to church with a hoard of friends to thank the Almighty when he eventually landed the IT job he’d set his hopes on.  The salary was mouth watering – so were the perks.  On top of which he got to work with an enlightened, ‘happily’ married woman. 

“She’s a fantastic boss”, he gushed.  “And you should see the stream of visitors making their way to her office just to have a chat with her.  Some of them were celebs I’d read about in the newspapers.  Once in a while when she has a party, she invites me.  I feel so honoured and privileged to be working with a lady like her…” 

As he made progress in his job, he almost bent my ears with glowing reports of this wonder boss of his.  His girlfriend, Atema had already met Joan, his boss, but she told me she didn’t particularly like her.  “Julius is always gawping at her and she couldn’t put a foot wrong as far as he’s concerned,” she once moaned when Julius was off on one of his boss’ praise-singing, “He fails to see through her ruthlessness.  I pray that he won’t rub her up the wrong way one of these days…”

Then Atema got pregnant and they were both happy planning a modest wedding.  Luck was on Julius’ side too.  He had to go out of town with his boss for a two-day seminar that involved a lot of cash for his three-day stay.  “I was happy for the allowance the office gave me for the three days.  A friend of mine in Abuja where the course took place had agreed to put me up so I could save some of my allowance,” he told me. 

“The first morning of the seminar, Joan arrived looking even more confident and sexy.  She’d stayed in a posh hotel and looked really refreshed.  As we sat together, I once again sensed the sparks there’d been between us for some time now.  Lately, things have been difficult because Atema has been ill for much of her pregnancy.  We haven’t had sex for months and sometimes I feel so frustrated I can hardly bear it.  But nothing would have happened if my boss hadn’t asked me to go with her to meet some clients after the end of day-one of the seminar.

“The clients offered us dinner and afterwards, Joan suggested we went to her room for a nightcap.  I hesitated.

I instinctively knew what she was saying and I knew I should refuse.  But there was this apprehension that if I turned her down, she’d make my life at work hell as she could be difficult if she didn’t get her own way.  Her hotel room was quite cosy and welcoming.  She told me to help myself to the booze in the room’s mini fridge and after a few drinks, I was starting to find her more than attractive – and the urge was becoming so strong it was hard to ignore.

“She opened a bottle of champagne for herself and after we finished off the bottle, she ordered me to take off her clothes, and things started to get really hot.  I spent the whole night having passionate sex with her.  I hated myself for betraying my fiancé, but after weeks of being sex-starved, I couldn’t resist the temptation. 

On my way out of her room the next morning, she told me she hoped I’d be ‘grown up’ about what happened and not go, bragging to my mates.  After that incident, she behaved totally professional towards me.  Until we have go out of Lagos – and she often expects sex on tap!  After a while, the excitement of bedding my boss started waring off and I no longer look forward to trips with her.

“I feel manipulated by her because if I say no to her, my job could be at risk.  Atema and I will soon be getting married and I would rather we stopped this shenanigans.

What if “my fiancé found out…”  He looked so confused I felt sorry for him.  A man in his prime with a job to-die-for bonking his female boss is any strappling man’s dream come true if he knows how to handle it.  But I warned him he had to look for a decent way to put a stop to the affair before it blew out of proportion. 

He’s a bit young and inexperienced to pull off a romance with his married boss in full glare of the staff.  They’re bound to make a mistake and his new wife might find out.  Only, how do you tell your boss to take a running jump when she fancies a bit of the goodies she’s been getting on a regular basis.

You can only drink so much water!

Everyone knows the recommendation that you should drink eight glasses of water a day.  But should you really?  According to the Consumers Association in Britain, no one knows where this so-called fact came from.  Dr. Heinz Valtin, of the Darthrnouth Medical School in the US was asked by the American Journal of Physiology to find the origin advice.  But after a 10-month trawl through research and numerous interviews with medical colleagues and nutritioners, he drew a blank

The Consumers’ Association says: “There’s no one-size fits all rule as to how much fluid you should drink.  The amount depends on many factors, such as general health, age and weight as well as life-style and climate.  A good way of being sure is by the colour of your urine.  If it’s pale and straw coloured, it’s fine, but if it’s darker, you should be drinking more fluids.

How To Make Snap Decisions:

A few of us are capable of making a quick decision without worrying whether we’ve done the right thing.  But some of us spend so long dithering, we miss opportunities and drive others up the wall while we’re at it.  Often we fail to make our minds up quickly because, we exaggerate the importance of the situation and the consequences that might follow.

The truth is that we’re missing out on life while we hang about.  Snap decisions take confidence.  So stop telling yourself that you’re useless at making good choices.

Then actively choose to make more decisions, no matter how long they take you.  Start with little things.  Make choices that will affect only you.  Will you have tea or coffee with your breakfast?  Do you want a light lunch or a heavy one?  These decisions aren’t going to have a huge impact on your life.  Then up the pace.  What will you cook tonight?  Which film will you go to see and when?  Get used to the fact that you don’t always have to know all about the pros and cons.

Gradually, you’ll build up confidence in your own decision making.  However, some decisions do need to be mulled over, so don’t feel pressured into rushing to make up our mind when there’s something really important at stake.