By Bunmi Sofola

Settling down with our favourite drinks, my husband and I got ready to watch the lovingly compiled video footage of our first son’s 21st birthday party,” said Nancy, a 46 year-old mother of four.  “As the screen came alive, the celebrant cheerfully flitted around his guests, happy and excited.  But wait a minute.  What the heck was that?

Oh my God, it was me talking – or to be brutally accurate – whining on.  The video camera had cruelly recorded my nasal voice for posterity.  It was a voice I would never have believed was mine – thin, monotone and crackly.  I am only 46 for goodness sake.  So why was I sounding eightish?!  “When did this happen?  My voice wasn’t always like this.  When I worked as a lecturer only a few years ago, teaching a class of a lot of students, my voice was strong and resonant – clear as a bell, in fact, it had to be.  With most of the students snooty lots, a hint of feebleness and I’d have been a laughing stock.  I didn’t realise that while I’ve been busy scrutinising my wrinkles and grey hair for further signs of ageing, another part of me was giving the game away!  Now, it’s my voice that’s crying out for an anti-ageing treatment.  Forget Botox or facelifts.  I desperately need a voice lift!

But is there such a thing as a voice lift?  Well yes!  I recently read that an operation called vocal-cord augmentation – or voice – lift surgery – is becoming the latest must-have for those keen to turn back the clock.  The procedure involves taking fat from the stomach wall and grafting it on to the vocal cords, or ‘vocal folds’ as experts call them, to plump them up and make the voice sound younger.  But can the voice be kept young without resorting to the knife?  Frances Parkes, a vocal expert who runs the clinic Max Your Voice says, yes.  She’s seeing increasing numbers of women who feel their voice is letting them down when they hit their 40s.  Thankfully, she says there’s plenty we can do before having the fat sucked out of our tummies and injected into our throats.

“With a few small changes, voices can defy time,” she says.  “If you listen to some of the best voice coaches, they might be old but sound 30.  That’s because they know how to look after their voices.”  Here are some non-costly ways to sound eternally youthful.

Take deep breaths:   “When we breathe shallowly, our voices sound weak,” says Frances.  “So the first thing to do is breathe deeply.  Letting the air into the diaphragm rather than keeping it in the upper chest makes your voice sounds resonant and strong.  Sophia Loren has a great voice.  She sounds sultry and sophisticated, but not old.  If you look closely, you’ll barely see her cleavage move when she’s speaking.  Her breath-control-long deep breaths, not gasps or shallow breaths – is fantastic.

Ditch the curries:  Diet plays an important part in how we sound.  Spicy or acidic foods can damage our voices because, as the stomach attempts to digest them, unpleasant gases are produced that travel over the trachea and vocal folds, irritating them.  The voice then sounds phlegm and croaky.  Frances advises: “If you do eat spicy or acidic food, try to drink plenty of water to neutralise the effect.”  Dairy products are out too – they are hard to digest, producing those gases.  So dark chocolate is fine, but milk chocolate is a no-no.  Red wine is better than white because it is less acidic, while tea and coffee should be avoided.  “Caffeine is a diuretic and very dehydrating.  Dehydrated vocal folds leave the voice sounding dry and raspy.

No crash diet:  Luckily enough, carrying a bit of weight benefits our voices because fat cells provide a good source of oestrogen.  This hormone is essential for lubricating our vocal cords, keeping our voices rich and young.  “It’s far better for your voice to keep a few extra pounds on board,” Frances says.  People with barred chests have greater lung capacity than the ultra-skinny Victoria Beckhams of this world, so more resonant voices.  If you’re naturally slim, aerobic exercise – such as running, dancing and swimming will improve your lung capacity and give your voice depth.  According to her, we lose 50 per cent of our lung capacity between the ages of 20 and 80 but you can improve capacity by physical exercise.  More lung capacity means a richer, more powerful voice.

Stay happy:   Feeling low expresses itself in your voice.  One of the symptoms of depression is a flat, listless voice.  This is due to lack of energy, which makes the muscles around the vocal cords slacken off.  Slack muscles, whether they be on your tummy or in your throat, are very ageing.  So perk up and smile.  It will not only actually lift your mood, it will add youthful brightness to your tone.  Smiling opens up the throat and encourages higher pitch, which makes you sound younger.  Practice great big smiles while speaking on the phone and no one can see you.  You’ll definitely hear the difference.

Stand tall:   If you stand tall with good posture, you make more space for breath and more breath means stronger richer tones.  The Alexander Technique, which voice coaches use to help actors achieve rich tones, is greater for posture and voice.  Imagine your shoulders are totally relaxed and someone is pulling a piece of string from the crown of your head towards the ceiling.  Lengthening the body means the diaphragm can move properly, letting in more air, so your tone is clear and more powerful.

Belt out a tune:   Practice singing scales and humming.  This gets the vocal folds moving and keeps your voice young and supple.  Frances says: “Humming the song ‘Mmm’ up and down the scales is great.  It brightens the tone because it encourages higher pitches.”  If you sing for a few minutes every day, you should notice an improvement within three weeks.

No shouting or whispering:  “Shouting strains the vocal folds, more strangely, whispering does too,” she says.  “For me, as a harassed working mum of a six-year old, whispering is not an issue, but I have been known to raise my voice on occasion.  Perhaps this is what has caused me to sound like a fog horn on a bad day.  From now on, when my daughter refuses to let me brush her hair in the morning, I won’t impersonate a banshee, but I will smile broadly, imagine someone pulling piece of string from the top of my head, and say in my brightest, bounciest tones: Please, darling.  If nothing else, it might shock her into doing as she’s told.”

Get  a grip on your life!

How many of you spend more than an hour listening to the chatter inside your head?  Everyone realized that every day they wasted precious energy listening to the tape that plays inside their minds, saying things like “That wasn’t very smart.  You shouldn’t have said that.  Look what you did this time.

“You really blew it;  you’re just like your father.”  But what is most disturbing is that no matter how many times you’ve heard it before, you still listen and take that voice seriously.  Sometimes you listen so intently that you can’t hear what the people around you are saying.

Maybe you have even avoided going to a party so you could stay home and listen to that box.  Some of you have stopped yourself from pursing a better position or going back to graduate school, basing your action solely on the feedback you’ve received from your charming little shadow box.

Some psychologists have suggested inventing an automated version of your box that will programme your internal dialogue; that way you don’t even have to say it to yourself.  You could use it as a talking alarm clock and wake up to “Good morning, you look awful today.  Nothing worthwhile is going to happen.  You don’t have what it takes.  You might as well stay in bed because no one notices you anyway.”

Want to give your sex life a boost?  Experts advise you do something daring. Anything that gets the adrenaline pumping makes the opposite sex more attractive to us.  When you do something exciting, your heart is racing and your nervous system is activated – much like if you were sexually aroused,” says Dr. Cindy Meston, co-author of Why Women Have Sex.  Below are some of her suggestions:

What you fancy:   Women who drink a glass of red wine a day have a higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication than those who drink other alcohol occasionally, or none at all.

Get physical:  Unexpected touches such as hug or kiss encourage our bodies to release oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel closer and calmer.

Breathe one another:  Sniffing his sweat can boost your levels of the stress hormone cortisol and, in turn, lead to arousal.

Shed the pounds:  Being over-weight can make you more susceptible to blood vessel disease, reducing blood flow to the genitals, so arousal is less likely.

Herbs to add spice:  Ginko biloba has been shown in trials to improve blood flow to the brain and genitals and therefore to enhance desire and orgasm.

Improve your sex life with a daily glass of red wine!

Want to give your sex life a boost?  Experts advise you do something daring. Anything that gets the adrenaline pumping makes the opposite sex more attractive to us.  When you do something exciting, your heart is racing and your nervous system is activated – much like if you were sexually aroused,” says Dr. Cindy Meston, co-author of Why Women Have Sex.  Below are some of her suggestions:

What you fancy:   Women who drink a glass of red wine a day have a higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication than those who drink other alcohol occasionally, or none at all.

Get physical:  Unexpected touches such as hug or kiss encourage our bodies to release oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel closer and calmer.

Breathe one another:  Sniffing his sweat can boost your levels of the stress hormone cortisol and, in turn, lead to arousal.

Shed the pounds:  Being over-weight can make you more susceptible to blood vessel disease, reducing blood flow to the genitals, so arousal is less likely.

Herbs to add spice:  Ginko biloba has been shown in trials to improve blood flow to the brain and genitals and therefore to enhance desire and orgasm.