By Dr Doris Ochei

“The best protection any woman can have… is courage.” — Elizabeth Cady Stanton

A year has passed since the world bid farewell to Her Royal Majesty, Obi Martha Dunkwu, the famous and unforgettable Omu Anioma. Interestingly, even after a year, the warmth of her indomitable spirit still shines radiantly in our hearts. Omu, our revered queen and mother, was a beacon of extraordinary feminine strength. We remember her today and always for her unwavering love, compassion, intelligence, peace, and infectious sense of humor that brightened every space she entered during her earthly journey. Truly, we miss her deeply for all these and more.

Without a doubt, the departed Omu Anioma ascended the Omuship stool well-prepared, armed with good upbringing, excellent education, panache, networking skills, intercultural dialogue, exposure, and courage. For us in the Anioma nation, Omu left a significant and lasting impact on our history, sociology, humanism, tradition, and culture. Her bravery as a woman, mother, and advocate for a better society will forever be etched in our memories.

As we remember this woman of courage and positive influence, we find a bittersweet solace—grateful for her legacy despite the pain of her absence. Writing this, I take comfort in her exemplary life. Omu was a model of love, possibility, and generosity, three traits that defined her and remained with her until her final moments on earth. We are also comforted by the knowledge that her legacy lives on in the countless lives she touched.

Omu Anioma was beautiful, both inside and out, and she made a lasting impact on nearly everyone she encountered. As we express our sense of loss, we also celebrate her extraordinary life with thanksgiving and gratitude to God for blessing this world with such a beautiful soul and a heart full of kindness.

I remember our paths first crossed on April 12, 2023. On that remarkable day, she led over a dozen Omus from different parts of Aniomaland to Onicha-Olona for the commissioning of the Onicha-Olona Ultra-Market, my initiative. I must add that I built the market primarily to ease the daily struggles of market women and promote commerce and small businesses. This endeavor greatly excited the Omu, who traveled all the way from Okpanam, her hometown, to support us at the unveiling.

The Omu, who spent the entire day with us at Onicha-Olona, praised my efforts on the project, highlighting the importance of such a modern market in a fast-growing community. Instantly, my husband, Major General Raymond Ochei, a lover of culture and a man deeply interested in exploring local traditions, and I cultivated a positive relationship with her.

In a short time, Obi Martha Dunkwu became our mother and counselor on cultural matters. We benefited immensely from her wisdom, knowledge, and vast experiences. In turn, my husband and I ensured she was comfortable and well-provided for. Regularly, his military aide checked in on her. Another interesting aspect of their bond was that Major General Ochei never visited Delta State without surprising the Omu with a visit to her palace.

It may interest readers to know that a few weeks before the Omu joined her ancestors, my husband hosted her in Abuja. The visit provided an opportunity for the respected monarch to experience the Federal Capital Territory from a soldier’s broad and adventurous perspective. I am aware that my husband took her to meet many prominent Anioma sons and daughters residing in Abuja. During these engagements, she provided impactful insights into the future of Anioma culture and tradition, aside from visiting several notable places. He even personally escorted her to the airport when she was leaving, only for us to receive the heartbreaking news of her passing a few weeks later.

No matter how hard I try, it is difficult to forget the beautiful memories of our amiable Omu and her remarkable ways. I vividly recall the glowing tribute she paid to my husband in a newspaper interview, where she highlighted his patriotism, kindness, and unwavering support for those in need.

In the words of Omu Anioma, Obi Martha Dunkwu:
“Major General R. N. Ochei is one man who is doing everything possible to keep Nigeria united. In fact, he is compassionate, far-reaching, sensitive, and unselfish. He is a soldier who uses compassion as a tool in working for the unity of our dear country, and I think he deserves commendation for all the great things he does for our integration and unity. Everyone knows that I receive allowances, both cash and provisions, from him every month. His military aide, Isa, ensures I receive provisions and other supplies regularly. Ochei is respectful, urbane, and progressive-minded. He is also a forward-thinking and compassionate soldier who understands pain and suffering, especially in times like these. He is a man who cares for others, which is why I pray for him daily.”

For the Ochei family, this is a deeply personal loss. Yet, Omu left a lasting mark on the society she worked tirelessly to guide and uplift. As I mentioned earlier, that is the comforting part. Her larger-than-life presence is why, even a year after her passing, she remains a prominent figure in our traditional institutions. I understand that her son, Afam, recently returned from Ghana, where he received an award on her behalf, a testament to the fact that she lived a life of impact beyond borders.

Our great Omu, wherever you are, rest assured that as time passes, we will continue to remember your extraordinary life and the legacy you left behind. Your contributions to our land will never go unnoticed. Most importantly, your life reminds us that true immortality lies in the impact we make while we are alive.

Thank you, and may you find eternal peace on the other side.

Dr Doris Ochei, Business Development Coach and Gender Advocate, writes from Lagos.