By Ebunoluwa Sessou

To end Sexual and Gender Based Violence, SGBV, it is important to stand against all cultural norms and beliefs that affect not only women but the society at large.

This was the highpoint at the just concluded two days workshop organised by the EDDA Women Progressive Development Initiative funded by Global Affairs Canada through ActionAid Nigeria and coordinated by WRAHP and WVL project.

Speaking on the theme, “Two days Training on SGBV Case Management for Iwaya/Makoko Market Women leaders, the facilitator, Mrs. Lawal Constance, Counsellor, Counselling Unit Oshodi/Isolo LGA, disclosed that, any practice aimed at causing psychological trauma for a girl or boy child or even women should be annulled.

According to her, gender based violence has a negative impact not only on women but on all members of the family especially children who are at high risk of experiencing physical and sexual abuse and neglect.

Her words: “SGBV include violent perpetrated against children on the basis of their gender, girls subjected to early marriage, domestic violence or female genital mutilation, FGM, or boys forced to participate in armed conflict or undertake hard labour.

“Parenting styles that are based on social gender norms where a child’s right to safety, their physical or emotional wellbeing are withheld based on their gender is a based gender based violence. Adding that, all these upbringings cause imbalance of power between the men and women.

“Therefore, it is important that we stand up against SGBV by engaging our childre for sustainable solution and by extension include all members of the family, ” she said.

In an interview, the president of EDDA Women Progressive Development Initiative, Pastor Ngozi Ekamankama, who gave an overview of the event said, “The workshop was organised to address ways to manage of SGBV cases.

“As women, we are not ready to change the narratives, we are still clinging seriously to culture and it is an area everybody should address and ensure that we educate the woman, to begin to look at culture from a different perspective.

“SGBV have been sustained because women are the major proponent,they are the ones that would insist on anything that has to do with women, when a man dies, it is the women that will go and carry out some cultural rituals on the woman including scrapping of the hair, clothes that are forbidden for the woman, occasions that she should not go, all these factors further degrade the woman.

“Every problem that has to do with SGBV emanate from culture and it is important that we detach ourselves from some of the cultural norms that affect our daily lives negatively.

“There should be education and sensitization for women on how culture has kept us behind.

“The role of women in SGBV cannot be overemphasized. Until we realize that everything that has kept the woman down is culture and that there is no evidence to prove that those cultural norms are right.

“All those cultures and beliefs are decision of some dead people and so, we are carrying out the decision of some dead people against the living. Those cultures are selfishly motivated just to please one person especially the men.

“The women have been indoctrinated to they cen be dossier and they trained their children the same way.

“As we are educating the women, we should also ensure that the men are well informed on what to do. There are lots of missinformation among the men.

“Most of our boy children commit suicide because of lack of proper information. They are sexually violated and bullied and the earlier we start looking at the changing the narrative, we might not achieve anything”, she said.

Also, the Vice President, EDDA Women, Princess Ogechi Anaso-Kalu said, ” Every woman must know her right and that on no account should she be abused sexually. The society should respect women.

“A woman is not just a mother or wife, she is a career of destiny. She is an incubator of the universe. That singular honour to bring back to life is what everyone should in a woman.

“A woman nurses everyone, including the garden, the community and anyone who violates a woman violates the universe. Women should be respected, honoured and valued”, she added.

One of the recipients, Comfort Uka, frowned at female circumcision. According to her, the role of parents on SGBV cannot be overemphasized

‘As a child, my parents circumcised me and when I got married, before my husband could penetrate my virginal, it was a war.

“We had to wait for a week, my husband could not have sex with me until my he complained to my Auntie who advised that he should buy a particular vasline before he could have sex with me.

“I thought it was over until my first pregnancy. I experienced hell. I laboured for long. The doctor who was in charge was angry because of the circumcision. Her complained was that during the circumcision, a part of the virginal that was not supposed to be cut was already cut off and that hindered my labour.

“Then, a surgical operation was carried out before I could give birth to my child.
I am totally against female circumcision and I do not want any woman to pass through what I went through. I have a girl child, I ensured that she was not circumcised because I know what I suffered.

“And on sexual abuse, I am ready to be an advocate against SGBV. I am ready to speak out against it.

Another recipient, Chika Uduma said, “I have learnt alots from the programme and I am ready to take the right decision against SGBV. As parents, it is important that we understand our children and guide them on the right way to go.