By Ayo Onikoyi

Nollywood actress and self-styled marriage counselor, Ijeoma Thomas, in a chat with Potpourri shares her knowledge concerning having a lasting marriage, while advising women never to propose marriage to their men.

According to the beautiful actress, choosing a lifetime partner must not be made without careful and prayerful considerations.

She said, “Customs and early practice provide that man is the one to propose marriage to a woman he wishes to marry. This argument is based on the belief that God the initiator of marriage brought the woman to man first. Through studies and research, this practice has saturated many traditions.

” It is very wrong for a woman to propose marriage to the man. In fact it is not in our African tradition and culture. Any woman that proposes to the man she loves and values loses her honour and respect before the man immediately. The man is the right person to do that. It is his responsibility to propose to the love of his life. The woman must never take steps to propose to her man, IT IS VERY WRONG.”

She also stressed that love is not enough to make a marriage work. She said that even most couples that broke up still love one another.

“Love is not the foundation of marriage. There are othe components that make up marriage and the family units. *Marriage is the most important decision A HUMAN will make next to he/her ETERNAL DESTINY IN SALVATION.

 “There are so many divorces and separations today, because love doesn’t keep couples together, love can’t save marriage. All those that have divorced or are separated were once in love with each other. In fact many that are divorced or separated now still love each other, but they can’t stay together again as couples because the other factors are not there, or were never there from the beginning of the relationship. They were both blinded by love of the flesh and are self-centered. What we call love today is self-centeredness.

A successful marriage hinges on KNOWLEDGE, UNDERSTANDING, WISDOM, RESPECT, VALUES, LOVE AND TRUST. Now, when you as a lady knows the VALUE OF YOUR MAN, you will give him that high honor and respect by PROPOSING to him before you lose him to another. Also in the same order, when a man knows the VALUE of his lady, he will give her that joy and happiness by proposing to her before he loses her to another man, therefore before you take that step to propose to your lovely lady as a man, ask yourself what’s her value? Not material or monetary value but, is she godly, prayerful, clean, opened or transparent? Is she respectful, economical as a home keeper? These are some of the values the man should look for in the woman he wants to marry.