November 5, 2023

Can you pull off a new romance at 60!

Can you pull off a new romance at 60!

By Bunmi Sofola

As soon as Timi came through the door of the roaring party, all eyes were on her. Not because of her beauty of course. I’m sure if her mum were alive, she would be the last to call her pretty. But she’s always been very successful in her career and, as soon as the current managing director of the firm she’s worked with for decades retired, she was next in line A divorced mother of two, she’d paraded a string of men of means since her divorce.

Only, after a few years of courtship and using her to get favours from her numerous contacts, they’d dumped her. But like it’s said, there was always another man in the wings, ready to promise her lasting friendship. And the incurable romantic she’s always been, she always fell for their glib tongues.

So, who was this man that now walked through the door with her, towering above her and looking incredibly handsome? Surely he wouldn’t be another lucky ‘find’ of hers? By the time they’d hung around for the best part of an hour, words were out they were lovers. His name was Andy, an engineer who had a successful business abroad. The icing on the cake for Timi was his being a divorce – he’d been single for as long as Timi had, and if things went the way they planned, he would be right there by her side as her husband when she would be confirmed her firm’s new managing director.

All these facts came months later of course, as friends were dealt blow-by-blow reports on the progress of the romance. I was a bit anxious about Timi who always wore her heart on her sleeve. So when I ran into her a few months before her expected promotion, I tried to hint she should take this new relationship of hers with a shovel-full of salt. “What do you mean?!, she flared. “I’ve known Andy a long time you know! And we’d dated briefly in the past. It was providence that made us meet again on an international flight. Now we stay in each other’s houses whenever either of us travelled. Even when he’s away on business, I could always let myself into his flat as I have extra set of keys.

“You of all people should be happy for me! After all the adventurous users I’d been involved with, I’ve finally met a genuine man who wants to marry me!” Marriage? That was a new twist to the tale. Timi is a glam gran of 60 who has three grandchildren. Tell me, what sane man with a supposedly good job gets married to a 60-year-old? Experience had thought me to keep my mouth shut whenever anyone I tried to counsel mentions love. No matter what is said, they seldom listen.

“And he’s a stud too,” she breathed. “For the first time since I kicked my no-good husband out, I finally found a man who is free to parade me as his partner.

And he’s taken the investment side of my life under his wings. We have some profitable projects we’re currently involved with…” Warning bells started clanging, but I kept my mouth shut. When it comes to business deals, Timi is as ruthless, as they come. Thanks to her business connection, she’s made a lot of mind-bugling deals and has impressive property to show for it. Who knows what other profitable doors this Andy wonder could open for her?

Friends were preparing a few congratulatory parties for her promotion when the bubble burst. Andy had disappeared! “What do you mean disappeared?” I asked the friend who broke the news as if she was actually glad Timi had met her come-uppance. “That crafty rogue bided his time,” she explained. “For close to two years, he spent a lot of her money and lavished attention on her; gave her mind bugling sex and introduced her to his four children as their step-mum. The crunch came when Andy informed Timi of a property currently going for a song in Britain. They could both buy the property and turn it into mini bed-sits for single tenants. Timi fell for the impressive e-mail he sent her, showing all the property’s features, what they both could do with it and how much they would be raking in when the bedsits were eventually let. He even made it possible for her to speak with the estate agents.

“His firm would handle the reconstruction so they could save a few pennies.

Our love-struck aunty fell for it. She sent in thousands of pounds as down-payments and later flew down to see the progress being made at reconstruction.

The builder was quite helpful too, answering all the questions Timi wanted answers to. She was so impressed, she sent in more money. That was when Andy stopped all contact with her. She couldn’t believe it. She travelled out and hurried down to his house but all the locks had been changed and none of the neighbours knew where to find him. She was still making frantic enquiries about his whereabouts when he sent her a text he was in hospital and seriously ill. He would get in touch as soon as he felt better.

“When next Timi visited their building site, the rubble were still there with no workers. On inquiry, she was told it was council property. Furiously, she tried to get hold of Andy with no luck. In the end she got hold of one of his daughters who didn’t look shocked at what her dad just did. “He does it all the time,” she said looking at Timi with pity. Timi begged her to ask Andy to get in touch or she would use all her connections to destroy him when next he showed up in

Nigeria. ‘Why don’t you do just that?’ Andy challenged when he called a few days later. “I’ve just left the hospital after paying hefty bills from the venereal disease you gave me. You say any nasty thing about me and I would let the world know what a disease riffled trollop you are!’

Needless to say, that was the end of discussion leaving our glam gran with no romance, no prospective husband and a chunk of her savings gone, but happy to still have a job!

Sex Is Like Going To The Gym!

Speak   to any mother of young children and she’ll undoubtedly tell you that intimacy with her husband is not on her list of priorities. As far as most new mothers go, intimacy is usually tagged ‘the last job of the day’. But could having children make your sex life with your husband even better – eventually? That with a bit of work, it can trigger a second honeymoon? Well, that’s what Sally said she discovered after three children and a sex life that left her husband getting a bit indifferent in the bedroom.

“After having children, a woman’s needs become mundane, things such as her husband’s laundry or getting the meals ready. But a man’s libido remains. With our three children all under ten came the exhaustion of motherhood. I went from being a bubbly, flirty thing to an anxious, snappy creature who lived in old wrappers tied across my chest. Dan, my husband’s demands became more of a bother. When met by my cold shoulder in the bedroom, he’d ask: ‘Have you gone off me? When I finally acquiescent after a few months with great reluctance, it’s usually in the missionary position and mainly because I didn’t want his need being met elsewhere.

“I must have tackled more than I could chew – what with erratic house – helps and a randy husband – that my doctor diagnosed depression and gave me anti-depressants. It was then Dan realised I really had a problem and he became more sympathetic. At least he could see that my lack of desire for sex wasn’t down to him. On one occasion, he even confessed he’d feared I was having an affair –