March 29, 2023

Dear Bunmi, I didn’t know he was married

Dear Bunmi, I didn’t know he was married

I met my current boyfriend through a colleague, and we’ve been an item for two years now and we currently live together.

When my colleague realised I was quite serious about him, she told me I was playing with fire getting involved with a married man.

I told her I never knew he wasn’t single. She said whenever he tells me he’s working away, he’s always with his wife. I was shocked.

Secretly, I thought he would deny he was ever married. But he said he was, but that he’d separated from his wife even before we met.

He promised to get a divorce and I’m hopeful we’ll get married soon, like he promised. Am I clutching at straws?
Ireti, by e-mail.

Dear Ireti,

The earlier you wake up from your day-dream, the sooner you’d realise you’re living with a smooth operator.

Didn’t it occur to you to ask him why he didn’t tell you he was married?

Even if he and his wife are really separated, surely it was worth a mention.

I don’t believe for one moment he’s getting a divorce and, if you hadn’t discovered he was married, I doubt he would ever have told you.

He’s using you as a bit on the side. Don’t forget he still has contact with his wife. I would dump him if I were you.

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