By Gabriel Olawale

The founder of the Love & Family Foundation, Tope Abiara, has said that the desire to help build strong families and a thriving community led her into establishing the organisation.

Abiara, in an interview, noted that society would be a better place if individuals showed love to one another and enjoyed a prosperous, harmonious family life.

Abiara, who also holds a Master’s Degree in Counselling from Liberty University, Lynchburg, said her childhood memory of closeness with her father and his love laid the foundation for her passion.

She said, “Love & Family Foundation was founded out of deep passion for a world filled with love; I’ve come to realize that if we can show a little love to one another, the world will be a better place and a deep passion for a prosperous, harmonious family life for each individual. The passion I have for humanity runs deeper than I can describe.

“Love & Family Foundation empowers and educates individuals for healthy self-development. We achieve this by different programs that we have, which are our community outreach program, child sexual abuse prevention, mentorship program for single young ladies, Menstrual Hygiene education, premarital & marital counseling, seminars, and our annual couples Gala event. All these programs are designed to promote self-love, value and healthy personalities. These in turn, help build strong families and result in a thriving community over time.

“The passion has been there from childhood because when I think back, I see the traits from when I was little but I had no idea it would become a purpose for me; I was always into the solidarity of families and helping people from young but I didn’t know I would make a foundation for it.

“No, I have no other business or foundation; except that I am a co-pastor, alongside my husband for our ministry- Comforter’s Ministries and the church – Vineyard of Comfort Assembly.

Counseling has been a great experience for me. I have a deep passion for counseling, even before I made it a career; I’ve always enjoyed being a listening ear to people’s challenges and giving a piece of advice here and there. However, becoming a professional counselor comes with ethical responsibilities meaning not being bias, be non-judgmental, protecting individuals’ privacy and these come easy for me. In our nation, most people don’t like to seek counseling; an individual or a couple seeking counseling from a professional and not necessarily their religious leader, has reached a certain level before taking that step so my first approach is to help alleviate their anxieties and assure them of a psychologically safe service. The purpose of counseling is to provide clarity to a confusing situation before you. When you as a person or a couple are in a situation where it appears you’re unclear on what seems right and what seems wrong. At the point where you want to protect your identity and also be assured of a non-judgmental perspective, that’s where my service comes in; what makes the process easy is the client being opened to say the truth and having an open mind to receive, which could be the main challenge but I love it, I love having the privilege to assist people to see clarity in their lives’ challenges.”

The Bachelors degree holder in Psychology from Georgia State University, Atlanta, United States, added, “I don’t believe that is true. I’ve seen the marriages of many marriage counselor collapsed. There is no way to ascertain a smooth marriage; if anyone is enjoying a smooth marriage, it is by the grace of God; because some people are ready to put in the efforts but their partners are not on the same page with them. So the conclusion of the matter is, a “smooth marriage” is only possible by the grace of God.

“It has been the grace of Almighty God. Counseling is a calling for me so having the backing of God is a source of strength for me. Also, the support of my wonderful husband – Pastor Elijah Abiara. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve always had the passion of giving from childhood, I implemented on it as a young adult, then got married. Now, if my husband does not support that passion, there would be no Love & Family Foundation so I thank God for the blessing of my husband who sees the vision with me and carries the vision with me.

“My early years was filled with family love, that was all I knew. My father (God bless his memory) was very strict; therefore he wouldn’t let us go out socially. Interestingly, I never spent a day in a school hostel, he wouldn’t let me go away to school, even to higher institution, though I had scholarships to school that were out of state. However, he made sure to show us love, he showered us with love and ensured our needs were catered for, he didn’t spoil us, but he instilled in us – to value the quality of life we had and not take it for granted.

“Yes, I would say I had a strict upbringing that appeared to be intolerable at the time but one that I value so much later in life. The childhood memory that lingers the most for me is my closeness with my Dad and how he invested love into the lives of his children. I believe this lays the foundation of the woman that I have become today and makes me an advocate for a father’s love in the life of any child. From my observations over the years, no child should be directly and/or indirectly denied of parental love; every parent, especially fathers should put in efforts to sow seeds of love into the lives of their children, and there are scientific data to back this up.

“ My late father Engineer Ezekiel Adepoju worked for a Japanese company, Sumitomo back in the days. He was hardworking and a devoted father who would always use every opportunity to teach his children a lesson, anything we sighted would turn to a teaching moment with my dad. He would sometimes ask us questions about the Government and give us new naira notes when you answered correctly. He would take us for a drive around the neighborhood for sightseeing and take his time to explain everything to us. My mother, Evang. (Mrs) Marian Adepoju is a devoted, hardworking, prayer-warrior, minister of God. My mom is very hardworking, and that really helped us while growing up. She has always been resilient, always striving for the best for her household; that paved ways for us in more ways than I can be mention.

“ It has been a pleasant experience, because there’s always boundaries set and understanding of mutual respect. Most married men find it very comfortable to speak to me about their marriages; they find it easy to open up.

“The passion for humanity, I want everyone empowered and well informed. When you’re empowered, it’s yours to work with it, when you’re well informed, you become equipped to make better decisions so I strive to ensure that the people I come across, become equipped to transform their life’s challenges into opportunities through innovative education and community aid.

” Challenges? The utmost challenge is not receiving a reciprocal of the love. No matter how much love you put out there, most people are there to take it and leave, they don’t mind the damage they do while leaving. I’ve learned the hard way but it’s not stopping me, I’ve only learned to adjust and adapt. I’m still learning but I can assure you that I am doing better gradually.”