Recently, I fell in love with a handsome banker, who I had to interact with, as I too work in a bank.

We flirted outrageously and swapped phone numbers and, for months, we stayed in touch. He calls me late at night, after work, and we’d talk for hours.

However, when I picked up the courage to ask him how he saw things going, he told me I was just a friend.

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I accepted this, as I had no choice – I have no intention of throwing myself at him.

So, why does he keep on calling me all the time and flirting with me if he doesn’t want something more?

I’m confused.

Timi, by e-mail.

Dear Timi,

One thing you must know is the fact that people flirt – and they do so for a lot of reasons; because they enjoy it, because they like the admiration, or because they like the game.

But that doesn’t mean they want a relationship with everyone they flirt with.

It doesn’t even mean they’re free to have a relationship.

You did the right thing by checking what this man had in mind – and to accept it.

What you need now is to learn that not all flirting leads on to something serious.

Sometimes, it is just a bit of fun. 

Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected] 

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