Dear Bunmi,

I’m in my mid-30s and just out of a relationship that I thought would have ended in marriage.

Now I’m convinced that I might never marry and start a family.

A few of my friends are in the same boat and one or two have opted for having children out of wedlock. 

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I find myself jealous of younger women who are married with children. Will my time ever come.

Irene, by e-mail.

Dear Irene,

Following a major disappointment like you’ve currently experienced, you need to allow yourself time to feel sad, disillusioned and even angry.

Don’t rush through these emotions because you think you need to hurry up and find another partner. Instead, use this post-break-up period to get your feelings in order.

Reach out to your family and friends. Make sure you’re taking good care of yourself — eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep.

When you’re feeling reasonably stable and secure, sit down and re-examine your assumptions about marriage and its place in your life.

Many women believe they’re not complete until they have that ring on their finger.

But experts also counselled that you should let the hard-earned wisdom of your life experiences, which younger women don’t possess yet, help you at more realistic conclusion.

For instance, ask yourself, what will marriage really do for you that you can’t do for yourself?

Many people marry, happily, for the first time in their late 30s and 40s. When you’re ready, let your friends and acquaintances know that you’re willing to give love another chance! 

Share your problems and release  your burden, write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected]

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