.What happens to you when you stop having sex?

Dear Bunmi,

I am 52 and my husband is five years older. Our sex life used to be average but, lately, he finds it difficult to sustain an erection – sometimes he can’t even get one, in the first place. As it is now, we have not had sex for months, though we both want to.

Is this normal for older men?

Feyi, by e-mail.

Dear Feyi,

Your husband is obviously suffering from what is known as erectile dysfunction, ED, which medical reports say affects one in 10 men. It was once thought to be a normal part of ageing, but physical conditions can also contribute.

Diabetes is a cause. Others include poor blood flow to the penis from furred up nerve damage, drug abuse, medication, alcoholism, smoking, high cholesterol, diseases affecting erectile tissue and neurological and severe chronic diseases. Stress, worry about sexual performance, depression and sexual boredom can be factors too.

At 57, your husband still has a lot of sexual mileage in him.  His doctor can make sure there are no physical causes for his current impotence.  Most men can be treated with tablets such as Viagra.

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