By Bunmi Sofola
Dear Bunmi,
I have just finished university and have a circle of friends I had in my undergraduate days, and I cherish their friendship.
My mom is one of these go-getting sophisticated women who see nothing in having affairs. My dad has affairs too, as you can see they have an open marriage.
My mom has been a source of embarrassment to me. She drinks like a fish, dresses young and wants to be part of our discussion whenever my friends come over.
A few weeks back, one of my friends phoned that his mom was almost out of her mind because my own mom was sleeping with his father. I refused to believe him because both families are close.
He then came over and showed me a copy of the love note my mom wrote his father. I was really ashamed and when I accused my mother of being indiscreet, she told me not to be silly; that people in her circles sleep with each other’s husbands all of the time. I felt sick.
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She can do whatever she likes but how can I make her leave my friend’s father alone? His mother is more of a mother to me.
Victoria, by e-mail.
Dear Victoria,
You have already had a talk with your mom and that’s all you can do, I’m afraid. It takes two to tango.
Why don’t you ask your friend to have a word with his father? Open marriages are alright if that’s what a couple wants out of life, but flaunting your affairs recklessly in front of the children is not only irresponsible, it is gross.
Unfortunately, women like your mom abound. Find time to talk to her again without sounding judgemental.
Who knows? She might decide to cast her net somewhere else if she sees how uncomfortable you are with her current affair.
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