Tony Ubani in Tokyo

Olympic FLICKs by Tony Ubani: Seeing double in Tokyo

We have known and seen twins with striking resemblance. They make identification very difficult. And they are usually stubborn not to reveal their identities.

It’s always easy to mistake one for another. There was one in my village while growing up. Their names were as striking as their identities. America and German. Most of us didn’t know that these names mean more than the the twins.

It was a day in school that a teacher gave us assignment to write about America and Germany. What a simple test, so we thought. It was when he started flogging everybody that we knew that America and Germany meant more than the “Tom and Jerry”. 

Out here in Tokyo, America and Germany came to play. One of the volunteers had collected our passports and went away. A superior officer came asking for same passports.

Suddenly, a girl wearing same uniform appeared and we pointed to her as the person in possession of our passports. The way she reacted was enough, even though we don’t understand Japanese to show she was not the one.

Confusion sets in. More volunteers came out and they looked alike. Same face. Same height.  Same voice. We were on the verge of crying when another “Siamese” volunteer came clutching our passports. 

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Since the airport episode, it’s been a double take seeing double at the Olympics.

Are you headache?

I tasted the bitter side of the Coronavirus at the Narita Airport, Tokyo, Japan where I spent more hours than the hours spent flying on air.

All passengers to Tokyo are subjected to COVID tests despite the clean bill of health certificate from your country.

A tube was given for us to spit into. Somebody complained that it would be difficult to spit out the quantity that would be enough for the test.

One of the volunteers dashed off raising hope she had gone to bring something to drink or chew. She emerged with pictures of oranges and different fruits and told us to imagine eating them to be able to bring out enough. The sputum test done. Question and Answers.
Q: Are you headache? 
Ans: No I’m not headache.
Q: Are you malaria?
Ans: No, I’m not malaria
I kept a straight face and subdued the laughter. Good news is that I came out negative.

It’s an App Olympics

The ingenuity of the Japanese in hitech is evident at the Tokyo Olympics.
How I miss Hitech Editor Prince Osuagwu who intimidates us with the phones that he easily displays to push you out of contest.

Those his eye-catching tablets are mere toys compared to what we see at the Olympics. The Japanese have gone haywire with hitech thereby reducing the Olympics to an app. Fans are kept away from events but glued to their phones or tablets at the comfort of their homes.

Virtually everything done by human can be done by robots. And many men and women tend to love robots neglecting nature and religion. The country’s complex relationship with machines are awesome.

It’s amusing but fascinating that even in the small rooms we call toilets, technology has taken over the secret duties. How do I explain a soft air mixed with warmth to keep me spark and clean and fresh from answering nature’s call?  

I have been careful not to touch any button that would injure my “Ministry of Labour and production”.

All thanks to Onochie Anibeze who narrated how a wrong pressing of a button got a Nigerian running out naked from the toilet.

Vanguard News Nigeria


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