Dear Bunmi,

I’ve fallen in love with an older undergraduate in the university. We meet from time to time, but always in the midst of people, but he is friendly. He hasn’t really said he loves me or asked me out.

A girlfriend said he’s confided in her that he fancies me but couldn’t do anything about it, as he has a steady girlfriend. Should I make a play for him and try to steal him from his girl? After all, all is fair in love and war!

Franka, by e-mail.

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Dear Franka,

Are you sure you’re not confusing love with infatuation? You don’t really know this man or the depth of his commitment to his steady. If he really wants you that badly, he would have thrown caution to the wind.

Stay friendly with him by all means, but go out with other men. Who knows, he might become available with time. Then and only then can you find out if you could be really compatible. Trying to steal him may be embarrassing in the end, if he doesn’t fall into your scheme. 


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