Absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder

Dear Bunmi,

Not too long ago, I started seeing a man who is handsome, loving and kind. In fact, everything I like in a man.  I totally fell for him and was convinced we had a future together. 

We went out together and everything was fine.  Nothing happened between us in the first couple of dates, apart from a few kisses on the cheek and a hug.

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I was ready to take things a little farther, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened the next time I saw him. He parked his car at a quiet spot and begged me to give him the oral job. I was shocked! I told him I’d rather get to know him better, as we’d only been seeing each other a few weeks, and he got annoyed. I suggested we could do it another time. But now I’m not so sure. Do you think he’s trying to use me?

Foluke, by e-mail.

Dear Foluke,

It certainly sounds as though he is more interested in love making than in you as a person.  Your reluctance to have your first intimate encounter with him in the stuffy surrounding of a car is entirely understandable, especially as you hardly know the man. Could he be married and not free to take you to his place.?

Cool things down by telling him that you don’t feel ready for any sort of love making with him yet. If he cannot accept that and is not prepared to build-up an emotional relationship with you first, he’s not the man for you. 


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