my Ex, married

Dear Bunmi,

From time to time, I spend the holidays with my mum’s older sister, and I used to get on well with my cousins. But early last year, I woke to feel the hand of my eldest cousin under my nightie.

I was so frightened though curious that I pretended to still be sleeping. After this, he tried to have full sex with me, but I pushed him off. Then he started being very nice to me; introducing me to his friends and giving me gifts. I was having such a good time that when next he came to the guest room, I let him have sex with me. He now thinks he could do that any time he wants, but I’ve told him to stop.

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Recently, he’s been forcing me to have sex with him, whether I like it or not. I enjoy the sex but I’m only 16, and he is my first cousin. How do I make him stop?

Nkechi, by e-mail.

Dear Nkechi,

What you’re doing is incestuous. First, you are not at all legally allowed to have any sexual relationships, because of genetic problems it could bring, if pregnancy occurs. Moreover, you’re too young to be playing with adult emotions. You are having unprotected sex, which could either result in unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

You have to be firm with your cousin and put an end to this nonsense. Threaten you’ll tell his parents or yours, if he doesn’t stop. When next he crawls into your bed at night, say no and mean it. Leave the room, if need be. 

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