By Bunmi Sofola
Why are women from their 40s give less thoughts to nookie? Juggling a job, husband for partner these fays!), kids and home is hard for any woman and something has to give. For a lot of these women, it’s their love life that’s first to go – they would rather sleep, watch TV or read than romp! Children are the main reason for a low libido, with a lot of mums blaming tiredness.
But what about the rest of these women whose libido are still raging? And how would a placid wife regard a husband of sixty and above who demands the whole works in the bedroom! I recently found myself in the company of this charming 72-year-old widow at a party. Lively and with a permanent twinkle in her eyes, she told me she was now ready for romance, four years after she lost her husband.
I was mildly shocked. Romance at her age? “And I don’t want any of your run-of-the-mill men,” she continued sweetly. “He must be very caring-running my bath, bringing me break-fast in bed and reading interesting topics to me from the dailies.” Was she for real? I asked if she had a lot money to burn for the type of services she was hoping for? “Why should I spend money on a man?” She wanted to know. “He’s the one who’s after what I’ve got and if he wants it bad enough, he has to earn it. He doesn’t have to be overly rich, just kind.” Was she living in cloud coo-coo land? “The problem with today’s women is that they sell themselves short,” she fumed. “They’ve made it easy for men to get what they want. They no longer bother to chase after any girl when the next one is available!
“Take a younger friend of mine for instance. The poor woman is almost 60. She had noticed for a long time that her husband wasn’t as keen on sex as before. When she eventually confronted him he said angrily that he was put off sex because my friend wasn’t adventurous enough in the bedroom!
He wanted oral sex and she wasn’t keen!” I told her it was selfish of the man to want what his wife never gave him when they first married, especially now she was approaching 60. That I was sure the poor woman must be a grandmother by now. “She is,” agreed this lovely lady. “As a matter of fact, she used to do all that when they were married – without his active participation. But when the kids started arriving, it stopped. Now, they’ve all left home, he wants it resumed because of his reduced libido and she wasn’t having any of it. I think it’s disgusting a thing to expect from a grandmother! Not with most men dipping their bits into dodgy honey pots! She could get a disease.”
Would you not do it for this wonder man you’re hoping to nab?” I teased her. “I’ve told you I’m not desperate. If it happens along … nice. If not, I’m happy with my children and grandchildren and I won’t do anything to make them ashamed of me! “I’ve told my friend to tell her husband to take a jump! Can you imagine it? A man of his age wanting perverted sex!” It seems everywhere you turn these days, sex is the only topic that gets enough attention. So, what’s the harm in listening when people are eager to talk and share their experiences?
Recently, a friend’s son got married and she offered a bed-sit to the new couple in the family house until they are able to find a suitable and affordable apartment. I was with her when her daughter in-law came in from work, had a natter with us before retiring to her room. “That girl is going to be the death of my son,” she sighed as soon as the girl was out of sight.
Need I asked what brought that on when she was dying to tell? “I just noticed that my son hadn’t been coming for his dinner for a while,” she told me, “so I decided to make an effort to make sure that he was properly fed, after all, both of them were still under my roof. As a result, when dinner was ready a few nights ago, I went in to call both of them, after hours of waiting for them. The sight that greeted me made my toes curl! My poor son was sprawled on the bed naked, and this vampire was sucking away at him! They both shrieked when they saw me and I quickly shut the door. No wonder the poor boy was losing weight. What is this world coming to?”
I told her that if she didn’t knock before surprising anybody, be it her son or a house guest, she deserved all the heart attack she got! Besides, what anyone does in the privacy of their bedroom is their business. Sex is healthy and should be natural. It shouldn’t be something so shrouded in secrecy it makes perverts of some men – and women perhaps?!