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In love with an old friend

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Dear Bunmi,

I’ve been mandated by a group of friends to organise a congratulatory party for one of us. 

The party is to take place at a small events’ centre and a close friend I’ve known since school is to help. My fear now is that I might not be able to keep my hands off him. We are in our late 20s. I’ve secretly liked him for ages and would love to tell him how I feel.  Unfortunately, he has a girlfriend.

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We’ve been friends for years but it’s only recently that I have come to realise that I am, in fact, in love with him. We get on so well and I know he is perfect for me.  My fear now is that I might not be able to stop myself from making a play for him, after all, girls make the first move these days.  That would likely get me into trouble with his girlfriend – who will also be there.

Carolyn, by e-mail.

 Dear Carolyn,

It is natural to feel tempted but I wouldn’t go there if I were you!  He is committed to another woman who is well known to you, so he’s not free to start anything with you.  I would stay well clear of him at the party if I were you, and find a free agent to flirt with.

You’re clearly obsessed with this man.  He hasn’t encouraged you in any way and you need to hang on to your self respect by leaving him alone and moving on.

 

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