LAST year, my best friend spent a week with me, trying to get over the shock of her husband’s latest affair. His latest flame had just phoned the house and she was quite nasty on the phone.
When my friend told her husband what happened, he shrugged and said it took a lot of persuasion for her to go back, and she told me things are fine now.
But I know they aren’t. The grapevine is agog with his current escapade and, when I go to my friend’s house, I can’t stand her husband as a result. My skin crawls when my friend cuddles up to him, and at the way he fawns over her, knowing he’s a great fraud!
Gogo, by e-mail.
Your view of your friend’s marriage is based on what happened to her last year, when she was angry and unhappy – and on the so-called grapevine. But you haven’t heard the conversation they’ve had where they were sorting things out.
You’ve not seen what concrete changes they’ve made to recover from the affair, or the effort they’ve made to get themselves back in love.
It’s understandable that whenever you see him, you remember the affairs and feel bad. But things have moved on for her and she feels differently about him and her marriage. If you want to be a real friend to her, you will realize this and start to feel differently too.
You are not married to this man, your friend is. Leave them to get on with their lives.