I’m 19 and fresh at a polytechnic. I really enjoy my studies, but currently have a crush on one of my lecturers. Even though he’s in his 40s, he looks really sexy. Every time I have lectures with him, I get excited.
When he comes up to me in class, I get really shy. I’m normally a loud girl, but I’m very quiet during his lessons. I’m sure he has realised that something is going on.
All this is making me disorientated with my studies. Can you help?
Agnes, by e-mail.
As you’ve already observed, when you become attracted to the opposite sex, you think and dream of little other than the person who has suddenly become the object of your attention. And because you don’t know the person well, you’re able to fantasise that he’s a desirable and perfect person you’ll fall in for. It is often inappropriate and not someone that would make a satisfactory mate.
So, enjoy your crush while it lasts. Believe me, the thrilling feelings you now sense will soon pass. One day, not so far from now, your teacher will seem like just another middle-aged man. You’ll wonder what you ever saw in him.
To end your crush more quickly, focus on all the sensible and down-to-earth things that tell you this teacher could never be your boyfriend. In time, you’ll be able to give the love that you now feel to some nice young man, who catches your eye.