Absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder

Dear Bunmi,

My boyfriend is far too randy for me. He wants lots of hot sex every night, and he goes at it fast and furious.

Sometimes we go on for hours and I end up sore and exhausted. It may sound like I’m the luckiest woman on earth, but too much of everything is bad and I’m getting bored and upset by it all— to the point where I don’t look forward to sex with him.


How can I tell him I don’t want sex all the time?

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Ramat, by e-mail.

Dear Ramat,
The earlier you told him the truth the better for your relationship. It is not possible to keep doing something you don’t want.

Your body and mind will eventually say no, plus he might only be doing it every night because he thinks you enjoy it.

He may actually be forcing himself to go on for hours to keep you happy. In which case explaining how you feel will be a relief to him.

So, reassure him that it is not the quality of the sex that puts you off, it is the quantity. It is not what he’s doing. It’s how often he does it. But tell him, you must.


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