Dear Bunmi,

My boyfriend of four years is so possessive and jealous that I sometimes fear for my life. He thinks I’m having an affair if I just pop out to the market or if I stop to talk to a man—any man. I’ve left a few times only for us to make up again.

Now I’ve just found out I’m expecting a child for him and he’s ecstatic. Only, he’s got even more of a hold on me now. He watches me like a hawk and could be verbally abusive.

He doesn’t look like a man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I don’t want an abortion. Please help.

Nike, by e-mail.

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Dear Nike,

Do you want your baby to be brought up in an abusive environment? Be firm with your man that you’re not putting up with his jealous and possessive behaviour any longer and if he carries on, walk out or enlist the help of people who can talk to him.

The problem with excessively jealous people is that they can’t change. Even when they’re with the ugliest partners, they still accuse them of two-timing. Life is too short to spend your life dodging the blows of a partner with a problem. ‘Think before you leap’ should be your watchword here.



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