By Dayo Adeyemi

Nation-building is a work for men and not for boys. The reason is simple: only transformed men transform a nation.

To build any nation requires men. The reason is simple, men work vision. Boys pursue provision. A nation of boys is a  nation of looters, shortsighted politicians and followers who are educated illiterates.

The rise of a nation can never be better than the quality of the minds of  its men. National transformation begins and ends with men. Show me a nation that is transformed and I will ask you; who are the men behind the nation?

Okowa tasks political office holders on selfless services(Opens in a new browser tab)

So the question is where are the men? My thesis is simple: boys are many, men are few. The fact that a politician occupies a position does not make him a man. The CEO of that big conglomerate has all the trappings of a man but never seems to know that good businesses outlive the owners. Being a husband is far easier than being the man of the house. Just like we have dearth of men in the home front, so also we have shortage of men committed to building nations around this clime.

National transformation with a clear call agenda by men and for men to redefine the social, the political, the media, the entertainment and economic landscape of the nation. Where do we begin the national transformation?

It starts with men and ends with men. This sounds upbeat and chauvinistic in an age of gender equality. In countries where men are men, women don’t even clamor for rights for they know that real men don’t lord it over women. Great husbands allow their wives purpose to soar. Secured men are not afraid to pursue an agenda that makes women become fulfilled. When men trample on women, women agitate for what they are being deprived of. National transformation starts with men who partner with women to build. How can a nation subject the issues of girl-child to advocacy? A nation with men don’t get

their girls abducted. Where men are men, 270 girls don’t go missing and can’t remain missing. Real men protect their daughters. Girl-child right issues are no issues when men are standing. How many of you would fold your arms and see your daughter being trampled upon? Where men are men, women become partners in progress. Wives become equal half.

A nation where violence on women, battery at home, unbridled rape and violation of female gender is rife cannot be transformed. Women play key roles. Men in nation-building recognize this and wholeheartedly pursue an agenda to make women flourish.

In America today, law, advocacy and sentencing may seem to protect women, but never prevent violence against womenfolk. Until the boys are made out of men, nothing would change the culture of impunity against women even in America. Filling up prison spaces will never solve the problem, transformation begins by a deliberate re-education and re-awakening of what it is to be a man. The journey to nationhood begins with manhood.

My mum, a constant believer, taught me how to do business(Opens in a new browser tab)

National transformation begins and ends with fathers. No matter how mums try, a mother cannot be a father. A father is a man who is driven by values. I have seen fathers who are poor, honestly very poor, but are epitomes of integrity. I have met fathers who have no university degrees but are committed to purpose.

National transformation requires fathers to be honest, fair and purposeful. How does a father on a Federal Government salary scale seven afford to send four children to highbrow schools where the fees run to millions? Sons know their fathers. Sons know that the four SUVs in the garage and the duplex cannot be from the father’s income.

Sons know that mummy is not earning much income and daddy is not doing any other business. The lifestyle doesn’t match up. The voice of the sons may be silenced but their eyes are certainly not blind. When men steal to sustain their lifestyles, they raise sons who kill the nation ahead of time.

Fathers must be value mines. Every interaction and detonation must be value driven. Where fathers live without values, we have sons who rule without vision.

Nigeria cluelessness can be traced to fathers who raised the political class. Intentional fatherhood transforms boys to men. The transition from boyhood to manhood must be deliberate by men to transform boys to become sons and   to become men. Father, raise boys that this nation can call men and be proud of.

Transformed fathers transform sons. Transformed men transform nations. Interestingly, national transformation requires just one man. In an article, ‘The Power of One Man’, I canvassed strongly that it just takes one man to catch the fire and ignite the nation. Talk to me about Mandela Nelson, Martin Luther King, Lew Yew Khan, Lech Walesa of Poland and I will show you how these men became a dynamite transforming their nations.

Must we mention men who have all the opportunity to transform Africa and they ended up perpetuating poverty, stoking civil wars, amassing personal wealth and never for once thought that the Panama Papers can be hidden but is never a secret?

The individual (male) man must understand that he has tremendous power that can be unleashed for nation-building. Such inner strength makes him immune to corruption and stealing. Such inner power drives him to leave a legacy and not just thrive on entitlement. I have come to one conclusion that the power of one visionary man can indeed transform an entire nation. Sad to say, nations are many but visionary are few.

All we have around are big boys. Boys pretending to be men. Big boys who fraudulently got to office, perpetuate corruption and fly first class, pervert the judiciary and call it justice, governors who signed their INEC with the butt of AK 47 and ink dripped in shed blood, pedophiles defending girl-child marriage, clerics who compromise for expediency and all sorts who are pretenders to true manliness. Boys don’t build nation. They loot her treasures. The boys may play big in the telecoms, commerce, politics, entertainment, economics and the media space, that does not make them men. The boys may own banks but that does not make them rich. The boys can impregnate a woman but never creates time for fatherhood. Big boys impress, real men impacts. There is a difference between boys and men. Always has been, always will be.

Boys are born. Men are raised. Boys are many. Men are few. So the question is; where are the men?” The beer advert screams. The right question is, where is the man? The man who would catch the fire and ignite a nation. Where is the man who would champion the birth of a nation? Where is the man who would go beyond commonsense platitudes to vision, values and commitment to transform his wife, children, family and community before stepping into national office.

Where is the man in the Senate and not the boys who won election? Where is the man that we can all say; here is the man committed to making this nation great again? Until we have such a man, national rebirth has not started.

Are you the man or are you just a big boy?

* Adeyemi is a Men’s Coach, Counsellor and Convener of The Catalyst Men Network International, Lagos.

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