I’VE been with my boyfriend for close to two years and we’re very much in love. My former boyfriend was nice but very possessive and we never did anything together.
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My current boyfriend is such a contrast but I’m concerned about his drinking. I told him he had to cut down on it and he agreed but a few days later, he was back at his favourite beer parlour.
My father was an alcoholic and he used to beat my mother. My boyfriend is different from him, but my experience of drink has shown me how bad the result can be. The fact that we disagree on this issue puts a strain on our relationship.
Apart from this, we’re very much in love. He accepts he has to limit his drinking and he’s made progress. But I feel bad if he starts drinking to excess.
Boyede, by e-mail.
Ii’s obvious you have a lingering fear of men and not just of those who drink. After all, your dad, the man whose love you most needed, handed you fear instead. He abused drink and the mother you loved and worshipped. The disenchantment has left a cruel mark. As an adult, you resist the intimacy that you think of as being possessive.
Your boyfriend’s eagerness for life must have thrilled you initially. Now, his relaxed behaviour seems too scary to you.
Well, no man is perfect. You’ve advised your boyfriend to be wary of abusing alcohol. Good for you. Instead of repeatedly condemning his drinking, understand and respect his zest for living.
You have much you could learn from him, be there to pick him up. Many men learn how to handle alcohol only from their own early mistakes. Either love your man and accept his fallible nature or walk away.