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She’s nasty to her first son by another man

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Dear Bunmi,

My daughter got pregnant and had to get married to her boyfriend of four years. She was doing her youth service at the time and wasn’t keen on marriage. But her man was against her having an abortion, so they got married.

It didn’t work and they split up after three years. She later met a caring widower who wanted to marry her. She’s since had another son for him as well.

Unfortunately, my daughter treats her two sons differently. The youngest, whose father is rich and pampers him, could do no wrong as far as she’s concerned, while the eldest is often shouted at and smacked. Please how do I right the situation?.

Why I dumped father of my child for acting – Yetunde Aderibigbe(Opens in a new browser tab)

Renike, by e-mail.

Dear Renike,

Seeing a close relative or friend doing something we don’t agree with is always worrying and there’s no simple answer to whether to challenge your daughter or keep quiet.

If the urge to challenge her is strong, do so if you think the issue is affecting someone who can’t defend themselves, in this case, your grandson. If other people agree with you on this, it’ll be easier to stand firm with support, only do it lovingly.

Remember your daughter may be scared or worried and be ready to accept offers of practical suggestions to help change things.

If what is happening is not affecting you or your grandson negatively, you could make things worse by interfering. You’ll simply be telling your daughter what you would do in her position and your way may not be the right way for her. So think these points through, thoroughly, before deciding on what to do.


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