By Dear Bunmi,

Dear Bunmi,

My girlfriend of two years recently celebrated her 30th birthday and I gave her what I thought was a really nice present.  I had to save up for it. I later took her out to dinner and gave her three birthday cards which I h’d spent ages writing nice things on.

gift

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Unfortunately, the enthusiasm she showed made it obvious none of the things I did was good enough. At the end of the night, she had a tantrum and told me I clearly didn’t love her very much. Apparently, her exes gave her better presents and took her to more expensive places. I am very hurt she reacted this way. It’s as if she thinks I’m cheap. How do I tackle this?

Julius, by e-mail.

Dear Julius,

I bet your girl was expecting you to take out a loan and blow it on taking her away to a posh hotel somewhere exotic! That should make her forgive you. Better still, spend your next pay packet on a shopping spree for her if the money would stretch that far.

Seriously, I would call her right now if I were you and tell her what a spoilt brat she is.

A good way to end the call would be to suggest she calls up  the exes who bought her expensive presents and beg to be taken back.

You are not cheap. Not only did you spend as much as you could afford, you gave her what money can’t buy: Love, effort and thoughtfulness. She’s at fault, not you. and if she’s going to carry on this way, you’re better off without her.

Vanguard