By Denrele Animasaun
Perpetrators of abuse often make their victims believe that they are somehow responsible for their own abuse. Such misplaced notions shift the blame of the abuse from the abuser to the abusee -Mallika Nawal
We all saw the CCTV in technicolour where Elisha Abbo reigned repeated volley of slaps across the face of the female shop manager and her assistant where this hooligan of a senator and his female companions had come to shop in an adult sex toy shop. And then he had the gall to enlist the police to arrest the women.
The senator representing Adamawa North Senatorial District, was caught red handed delivering his brand of justice to the shop owner for what he felt was a transgression; speaking up and suggesting his vomitus female take her projectile outside her shop. This self important, egoistic arrogant bully and a nassistic peacock felt his fragile ego bruised so he meted the only way he communicates to women- with his hands.
This apology for a man and a lawmaker, thought he was master of all he surveyed and that he could get away with his brand of brutal justice. He was violent and unrelenting. He not only delivered several slaps to one but two women. He then requested that the police who accompanied him to arrest the shop owner.
The power of social media when used right can be a power for good as in this case; it went viral not only in Nigeria but around the world. The senator had no place to hide and the immediacy of tight lips from this hot headed young man could not quell the anger of the people. His people could not spin this, nor could his drummed up explanation of what transpired.
First he went into hiding, then he hid behind his gullible wife, who vouched for his innocence then, he sought legal advice but his party grandee knew they could not get him out of the mess and also he is a disgrace to his high office and the people he represents.
Abbo said, “I am not here to tell my own side of the story. It is with a deep sense of remorse and responsibility that I, Senator Ishaku Abbo (SlA), profoundly apologise to all Nigerians, the Senate, the Peoples Democratic Party, my family, friends as well as our mothers — the Nigerian women.
“I personally apologise to Bibra and her family for my action towards her, which has brought immense discomfort to our body polity.”
No amount of begging and pleading in front of the nation should erase his crime. He should be arrested and follow due process Like everyone else This man is not sorry for what he did, he is sorry that millions are repulsed by his behaviour and he fears he would lose the support of his godfathers and House.
By the way, the women he violently assaulted have gone to ground and no one has heard nor seen them. What happened to them? are they safe, are they receiving treatment, have they carted them somewhere or bought their silence?. Whatever the case, it is important that the two women are produced and supported so they can receive appropriate medical and psychological intervention. This man has got form, this is not an a isolated case and it appeared that he frequents this particular sex toy shop. Is this the man that should be representing his community and does he have the temperament to hold such high office? If this man is allowed to go unpunished then the House and our lawmakers should be tarred with same brush.
The measure of a man is what he does with power.
From my archive:
“Last year, the same disgraceful display of thuggery I wrote about in: THIS HOUSE OF DISREPUTE, NOVEMBER 23, 2014:”those that seek evidence that our highest hallowed House in the land have badly behaved, must have seen on TV and read in the newspapers how uncouth and disgraceful they are. Those that still are not convinced, I have nothing more to say to them as they have obviously lost their moral compass.
What we saw were grown men behaving like rent a mob and scaling the fence to force their way into the inner sanctum of the House”. And again JULY 21, 2013 IN DIRTY, ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS, similarly there was rancor in the River state assembly. I wrote: “They should hang their heads in shame and accept that what happened on the floor of the assembly was truly despicable, period”
‘The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any’ .-Alice Walker
The case of the Pastor and his past
Since the proliferation of the #MeToo movement in the US and subsequently made its way around the world, women feel emboldened to speak out against sexual harassment and sexual assault.
There are some Nigerian women whobare fighting for recognition and justice such as:Fakhrriyah Hashim: the woman who sparked the #ArewaMeToo movement.
Nigerian women have finally found their collective voices to stand up and call out their abusers irrespective of their positions and standing in the community. For a long time, the men of the cloth were beyond reproach and they could do no wrong and they were blindly supported by their flock. One very catch all matra of theirs was : ‘touch not my anointed “.
So if any case of wrong doing arose, then it is explained that the man of the cloth was tempted by the devil and always it was the fault of the victim. For too long the perpetrators were given free rein to get way with such heinous crime all these years.
If the truth be told, this recent exposure is just athe tip of the iceberg, everyone knows someone,if not, they were themselves victims . This secret and lies have pervaded our nation and in every institution, religious entities and households.
The denial has costs many their lives, their sanity and their health.
So the rape allegation against Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of The Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) by Busola Dakolo opened up the emotional and traumatic wound of millions of Nigerian women (and some men) and again the social media helped to carry this beyond the walls of Nigeria and beyond and it refuses to go away.