Dear Bunmi,

I’m an old-fashioned man and like to treat a woman correctly. I have a good job and I recently re-located to the country. I open doors for my girlfriends and hate to see a woman carrying heavy bags.

But I find women don’t accept my chivalry and prefer men who treat them badly. Where am I going wrong? My friends say women prefer the ‘tough’ guys who slap them around. Is this true?

girls, men

Harry, by e-mail.


Dear Harry,

I think you’re trying a little too hard! As a woman, it is wonderful to be treated with kindness and respect, but a little too much protection feels controlling and smothering.

Try to relax a little with your next girlfriend. Take the time to find out who she is, her likes, dislikes, her dreams and disappointments rather than carrying her bags.

Be open and show your strength and weaknesses. People distrust a person who’s too good to be true. Women don’t like ‘roughnecks’ either. Be violent and they’re likely to walk!

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