By Pastor Okokon Ating
Indeed, we know that nearly every marriage sometimes can go through the period of delusion, but when it goes beyond the state of hope of survival, such can be replaced by sadness, hurt and despair. “Feeling hopeless is contagious”. It is contagious because it can be transmitted to the ignorant generation yet unborn.
It breeds unacceptance by people and the com-munity sometimes. One is seen as an irresponsible person who does not know how to handle mar-riage. It may lead to ridicu-lous nickname. E.g. Father of my children or mother of my children.
Unresolved conflicts lead-ing to divorce also cause an individual to be stigma-tized and scorned reproa-chfully.
- Tormenting: Every un-resolved conflict in marr-iage must present the foll-owing torment on its union
- Love and sex denial, food and clothing or shelt-er denial
- Denial of healthcare, family identity, security and attention
- Other basic needs such as education, skill acqui-sition may not be en-couraged
- Physical victimization in form of battering that in-flict heart attack on your spouse
- Denial of help e.g. in some African settings, women are allowed to fend for themselves and their children as if they are widows or slaves
- Sickness: The result of unresolved conflict in marriage can easily cause the following illnesses;
- Hypertension or high blood pressure as a result of worries and frustration about life, this bring about unrest of mind
- Stroke, mental disorder or madness.
- Fear: Phobia comes as a result of the unknown, such as lack of knowledge of what may happen in the nearest hour between the couples. it could be fear of divorce.
- Children lose morals be-cause of none parental affection: unresolved con-flicts in marriage bring su-ffering to the children due to non-parental affection. Therefore, this action could breed; Sickness; evil influence by peer pressure; stubbornness and drunkenness thus becoming a vagabond; Drug addition, gangster-ism and cultism; armed robbery and other social vices.
- Generational Precedents: If there is no urgent inter-vention in resolving the conflicts, it may continue from generation to gener-ation.
- Divorce : this could likely be the end result
- Death: Finally, if in the course of the unresolved conflicts the couple re-fused to separate them-selves in divorce, at the end it could be the man murdering the woman in anger or vice visa.
Oppression and supp-ression is the devil’s tool to destroy homes, this is why we must not let our anger or emotions take control over us.
Conflict is inevitable as long as two different peo-ple are involved but let’s apply maturity and the fear of God to conquer every agent and tricks of the devil to break our homes. There is no marriage without some hitches.