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Has his second wife robbed him of his libido?

Dear Bunmi,

ABOUT seven years ago, my husband took a second wife and that nearly tore the family to shreds. I felt betrayed and moved out of the home to my own flat.

My husband moved in his new wife though my children stayed with their father.

Over the years, the children have settled in with their stepmother and they have nothing but praises for her.

As a result, my hostility towards my husband thawed and he started coming to visit. He used to be quite randy and it was a shock to discover that he seldom wants to make love. He is in his mid-fifties and I will be 50 soon. Why has he changed so much in just seven years?

Alero, by e-mail.


Dear Alero,

A sudden loss of libido can indicate the onset of a medical problem. Try and discuss this with your husband and encourage him to see a doctor. However, the poor man’s declining interest in love-making must probably reflect no more than his advance in years. Like you, your man is simply getting older and the balance of his hormone is changing.

Your desire for love-making might be a yearning for confirmation that you’re still as attractive to him as before in spite of his other wife.

Be patient with him and don’t expect any fireworks.

Rebuilding your broken relationship should be the priority here. Your love- making should improve with time.

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