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Have I scared him off?

Dear Bunmi,

I met my current boyfriend through a close friend who sort of ‘arranged’ for both of us to get together. A few days ago, I had a really rough time at work and took off my anger on him. I said some hurtful things I now regret and I haven’t heard from him since.

Should I go after him and apologise?


by e-mail.


Dear Weyimi,

I suggest you make contact with this man. For all you know, he may be waiting for you to make the first move. Take responsibility and apologise for your part in what happened and explain why. Understanding this may help him forgive you. Stress the good things in your relationship and say how much you want it to work out again. If he responds positively, make him feel welcome and don’t blame him for disappearing.

If you’re not sure of how you feel, then hang on a bit. Did things blow up because you’re cooling off the relationship? If so, forget it. Compromising out of desperation seldom works. If you’ve noticed he always walks away at any sign of trouble, he’s not going to be a good long-term partner. If you’re sure you want him back, have tried a couple of times to contact him with no success, take the hint and let him go.


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