Dear Bunmi,

I moved in with my fiance as soon as we got engaged. That was some two years ago. Shortly after, I discovered he had another affair going and I was heart-broken. Fortunately, we worked through the problem and were looking forward to getting married.

A few months ago, I noticed signs of another affair. He would come in late without good reasons and was secretive with his mobile. In the end, I decided to check his mobile phone when he was in the bathroom. He caught me looking through his text and they were steamy ones not meant for me! He was so angry that we had a mighty row and he said it was over. He simply packed his things and left since the flat is in my name. He had left me angry and heart-broken.

Tito, by e-mail.

Dear Tito,

So what if you snooped? Lovers do it all the time and they don’t get dumped as a result. Your snooping is not what caused the break-up of your relationship. First, it had got to the point where trust had gone, and that meant it was doomed, anyway.

Second, your fiance dumped you because he knew you were getting too close to the truth, that he was cheating again.

He was probably looking for an excuse to end your relationship without taking the blame.

Your checking his text just gave him the opportunity to do that and blame you. You’re well rid of him.